The Texas Rangers don't make Barnshaw an honorary Texas Ranger. Barnshaw makes the Texas Rangers honorary Barnshaws
Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion? Answer - neither, Barnshaw would beat them both with a single drop of his 12 inch penis.
Barnshaw buys his Girl Scout cookies from Green Berets.
If you masturbate between 12am and 12pm everyday, then Barnshaw WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's face.
There used to be a street named after Barnshaw, but it was changed because nobody crosses Barnshaw and lives.
Death once had a near-Barnshaw experience
Some magicans can walk on water, Barnshaw can swim through land.
Barnshaw counted to infinity - twice.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Barnshaw.
Barnshaw doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the shit out of it.
Barnshaw once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Barnshaw and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Some kids pee their name in snow. Barnshaw shits his name in concrete.
Contrary to popular belief, Barnshaw cannot fly. He just jumps and chooses when to come down.
Barnshaw doesn't mow his lawn, he stands on the porch and dares it to grow
Barnshaw puts the 'laughter' in "manslaughter'
Barnshaw once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion? Answer - neither, Barnshaw would beat them both with a single drop of his 12 inch penis.
Barnshaw buys his Girl Scout cookies from Green Berets.
If you masturbate between 12am and 12pm everyday, then Barnshaw WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's face.
There used to be a street named after Barnshaw, but it was changed because nobody crosses Barnshaw and lives.
Death once had a near-Barnshaw experience
Some magicans can walk on water, Barnshaw can swim through land.
Barnshaw counted to infinity - twice.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Barnshaw.
Barnshaw doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the shit out of it.
Barnshaw once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Barnshaw and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Some kids pee their name in snow. Barnshaw shits his name in concrete.
Contrary to popular belief, Barnshaw cannot fly. He just jumps and chooses when to come down.
Barnshaw doesn't mow his lawn, he stands on the porch and dares it to grow
Barnshaw puts the 'laughter' in "manslaughter'
Barnshaw once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
by Barnshaw December 4, 2010
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A barista who knows how to cup both your balls and your mocha. Generally are found at Starbucks or Seattle's Best, but the best and hottest are found in Italy. Baristatutes also can handle warm liquids in or around their face.
by Pety April 23, 2008
Get the Baristatute mug.ellie: hey did you see bernstein over there?
elena: oh yeah.. she's jewish right?
ellie: is that even a real question?
elena: oh yeah.. she's jewish right?
ellie: is that even a real question?
by ESam November 15, 2013
Get the bernstein mug.A poorly paid individual who politely endures the torture of rude posh customers every day they are at work. They are usually extremely interesting and intelligent people, yet are submitted to constant patronisation and unnecessary abuse by the individuals they serve.
Identifying a Barista:
They often show fabulous abilities in memory...
Customer: "can I have a large extra hot soya 2 shot latte, 3 small cappuccinos, a medium wet chai latte, and a tea with 2 tea bags...to take away?"
Barista: "No problem"
They are identifiable by their muscular arms built by carrying enormous trays of dishes and coffee beans across their store...
"Look at those arms on her!"
"Yeah, definitely a Barista"
When a Barista approaches, you will smell them before you see them, and can hence never be tired in their presence..
"Do you mind going on the sofa tonight? You smell of coffee so much that I can't sleep!"
They are faster than ninjas with their hands on that coffee machine...
Barista: "Your coffee is ready madam"
Customer: "Woah already? I hadn't even reached for my purse yet!"
They are polite, despite being continually tested by rude people...
Silly individual: "I want a filter coffee with no milk please"
Barista: "Sure, here you go - enjoy!"
Silly individual: "I WANTED MILK WITH IT, WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID?"
Barista: "Oh, I'm so sorry sir, here's your milk"
A Barista is always hard working, yet underestimated and under appreciated by many.
Identifying a Barista:
They often show fabulous abilities in memory...
Customer: "can I have a large extra hot soya 2 shot latte, 3 small cappuccinos, a medium wet chai latte, and a tea with 2 tea bags...to take away?"
Barista: "No problem"
They are identifiable by their muscular arms built by carrying enormous trays of dishes and coffee beans across their store...
"Look at those arms on her!"
"Yeah, definitely a Barista"
When a Barista approaches, you will smell them before you see them, and can hence never be tired in their presence..
"Do you mind going on the sofa tonight? You smell of coffee so much that I can't sleep!"
They are faster than ninjas with their hands on that coffee machine...
Barista: "Your coffee is ready madam"
Customer: "Woah already? I hadn't even reached for my purse yet!"
They are polite, despite being continually tested by rude people...
Silly individual: "I want a filter coffee with no milk please"
Barista: "Sure, here you go - enjoy!"
Silly individual: "I WANTED MILK WITH IT, WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID?"
Barista: "Oh, I'm so sorry sir, here's your milk"
A Barista is always hard working, yet underestimated and under appreciated by many.
by Truthfulgirl July 8, 2014
Get the Barista mug.Setting up a telescope or other astronomical equipment for stargazing at a pub or tavern, involving equipment simple enough for moderately inebriated patrons to operate themselves. Originated at a tavern in Columbus, OH in 2011, by "Duke Skygawker", a central Ohio amateur astronomer.
by Duke Skygawker April 18, 2011
Get the barstronomy mug.“Does anyone know what Barstool Sports is?”
“It’s the greatest Company to ever exist. It’s basically the internet.”
“It’s the greatest Company to ever exist. It’s basically the internet.”
by pdiddyforshizzle June 29, 2018
Get the Barstool Sports mug.