Colombian apology

After upsetting your hot headed fella (usually Latino) or saying/doing something to disrespect him. You apologise by offering your arse and taking it up the bum. All is then forgiven.

"Valeria upset me the other day, disrespected my wife while we were at it. Was about to lose my shit but she gave me a Colombian apology to calm me down. Wasn't mad at her anymore after that."

by Fookem August 10, 2021

Hancock apology

To make an apology for something relatively insubstantial, even mostly irrelevant, while simultaneously refusing to acknowledge something more grievous.

Bonus points if the apology is insultingly insincere and the apologist demands privacy and respect.

Named after Matt Hancock, Secretary of State for Health and Social Care of the UK, who was filmed having an extramarital romantic liaison - kissing and groping - an aide he personally hired. Hancock refused to acknowledge the romantic and sexual element of this interaction and, instead, chose to apologise for "breaching social distancing guidelines." He then asked for privacy for this "personal matter", alluding to the alleged affair sighted, while completely refusing to acknowledge the affair.

Jane: "You cheated on me over 15 years, murdered my mother, and stole all of my money. Why did you do all of this, you wasteman?"

Matt: "To invoke the Hancock apology, I am sorry that I ate all of your green Gummy Bear sweets. It was very wrong of me and I apologise. I would now like you to respect my privacy on this personal matter."

by BroJayDee June 26, 2021

Apologive

To give apology

"I take offense at that, not gunna lie"

"I apologive no offense"

by swardyward November 6, 2011

Apology

Apology accepted! It sounded sincere. You don't have to grovel at my feet or nothing but... I have been known to accept whore sacrifices.

Hym "Apology accepted."

by Hym Iam January 25, 2023

Apology tour

What most celebrities and professional athletes have to embark upon after disgracing their families, co-workers, etc. for very bad personal decisions. Standouts include sleeping with the nanny or crashing your car while on a cocktail of fentanyl and cocaine. Playbook calls for an immediate retreat to a treatment center where you emerge 30 days later with a bible in hand.

This year’s #1 NFL draft pick was missing from society for 30 days, until last Tuesday when he emerged from Our Lady of Miraculous Recovery Treatment Center, bible in hand. Beginning his apology tour, he stepped up to the podium he began to thank those that helped him and was truly sorry for those he hurt during his recent car crash (high on cocaine) with the half-dressed nanny in the passenger seat.

by Grant Rampus January 28, 2023

text apologizer

The person who ends a text exchange by saying something akin to this: "I have to get back to work. Can't talk." This is instead of simply just responding to a text when you have time. This person tends to behave as though texts are the same as phone calls, during which one might have to abruptly end the call for various reasons.

So Amanda sent me a text telling me that she had some really crazy news about Raymond. I responded to her as soon as I could to ask what the news was and she immediately responded, like the text apologizer that she is, to say she couldn't talk but she'd text me later.

by sleslie2425 November 14, 2018

Apology Pants Time

When you have messed up really bad and your boyfriend/girlfriend is to the point of something drastic. Such as breaking up. Time to step it up, asshole and put on the pants.

Person: I messed up big time. My girlfriend is going to be so upset. I think she is going to break up with me!
Person 2: You know what time it is then
Person 1: No, What?!
Person 2: It's Apology Pants Time!

by Jenasis December 21, 2018