The waitress who serves me in my local cafe suffers from absolute-slowness. It is usually characterised by having a big pale ugly face, no manners or respect and the general demeanour of having taken 67 valiums and a few bottles of vodka.
It should also be noted that those affected tend to move in slow motion so do not be alarmed this is normal as they are out of sync with our time-frame.
It should also be noted that those affected tend to move in slow motion so do not be alarmed this is normal as they are out of sync with our time-frame.
Customer 1: "Hello, I'd like a some soup please."
Waitress 1: "Ok it'll just be a second"
*goes away and grows the vegetables and grain and slaughters the cow herself*
Customer 1: "What the hell's up with the Absolute-slowness today!!"
Waitress 1: "Ok it'll just be a second"
*goes away and grows the vegetables and grain and slaughters the cow herself*
Customer 1: "What the hell's up with the Absolute-slowness today!!"
by asteroth February 24, 2010
Get the Absolute-slownessmug. by Average absolute January 10, 2022
Get the ali absolutemug. by Annatoli December 5, 2019
Get the Absolut Vodkamug. by playcrossy December 22, 2010
Get the absolute bitsmug. by Sillysox July 12, 2017
Get the Absolutely stunninmug. by Poopy pants69420 May 6, 2020
Get the absolute pussymug. Absolute speed also known as maximum speed is a theory about how anything with mass moves through multiverse spaceat speeds faster than light which constantly increase. Due to lack of friction (because there is no atmosphere), gravity and changes in physics or lack of them this is possible. This theory also tells that everything travels with absolute speed not just light so we can say that everything travels as fast as light (since the speed of light also increases) or faster. Because this speed is constantly increasing we currently can't mesure it since we don't know the entry speed.
by Yesverymuch December 18, 2018
Get the Absolute speedmug.