old as shit

So old and decrepit that you look like dinosaur droppings.

If she isn't as old as God, she' s at least as old as shit and about as usless.

by nom de fume June 19, 2016

Shit alert

The signal that your body sends you that lets you know to shit within the next 10 minutes or your gonna shit yourself.

I was in the middle of the football game when I got a shit alert

by Jsummers33 January 8, 2017

shit slotting

When you get really mad at someone and shit through thier letterbox

When someone is antagonised to the point where they 'slot' their own poo through another's letter box

'Ah man, I'm so mad at Pablo, so I thought I'd do some shit slotting. Basically I took a shit through his letter box'

by Ragatron December 22, 2013

Crim shit

Slang for any type of criminal activity. Originated in Australia and New Zealand.

Examples of crim shit may include punching someone in the face or feeding a seagull panadol so it explodes etc etc

"Hey Josh, what do you want to do tonight?"
"Oh hey Yung G, really feel like getting up to some crim shit tonight aye"

by RoganG February 7, 2018

Shit-Towel

An old towel, sock, rag, or t-shirt that is used as a means of wiping one's ass when no toilet paper is available, often left in a pile in a bathroom closet for repeat use.

Dude, we're out of buttwipe. You'll have to use this shit-towel.

by Herman P. Willis November 5, 2008

Shit cuff

The act of accidentally getting faecal matter on ones shirt cuff during the process of wiping.

Oh fuck, I have a meeting in 10 mins and have just given myself a shit cuff. Does anyone have a spare shirt?

by Mr Underhill September 20, 2013

Shit canoe

Using toilet paper or the like to line the bowl of an aircraft toilet so that the turds slide down the hole when flushed without leaving chunks of shit stuck to the sides.

The Captain didn't build a SHIT CANOE and now we need maintenance to report to the forward lav with a chisel!

by Tesax May 9, 2021