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Need some wood?

Definition:
Question usually posed to an ass clown at a point in a conversation or relationship where the ass clown has grossly exceeded the limits of patience and tolerance in others who were, up until that point, making every effort to engage the ass clown in a civil discussion or relationship and indicating that the ass clown now runs the risk of unleashing a wrath previously withheld. The target of such a question is being informed that they have descended into such utter stupidity that their only possible hope of salvation is the application of a hard piece of a tree to the side of their head (for starters.) The phrase is stated rather than asked to indicate that the ass clown may be in imminent physical peril. Usage of this phrase is similar to bam stick although usually in a calmer tone - such as the phrase "You asked for it."
Background:
Asked, as if joking, by President George W. Bush of Senator John Kerry during the second 2004 presidential debate at a point where Bush knew a recent reference to timber would confuse his adversaries.
You WRECKED my car AGAIN? Do you need some wood?
nigga that jacked yo shit needs some wood
BUSH: I own a timber company?
(LAUGHTER)
That's news to me.
(LAUGHTER)
Need some wood?
(LAUGHTER)
by Tina October 14, 2004
mugGet the Need some wood?mug.

smiths wood academy

Smiths wood is full of slags who wanna be strippers at the age of 12 most girls skirt is up to there arse cheeks all boys simp over a teacher while the girls simp over a pe teacher
by anonymous October 9, 2021
mugGet the smiths wood academymug.

morning wood struggle

When you wake up relaxed on a weekend morning relaxed with no plans except your morning wood. Do you go through the effort to get up, dressed, and find someone to help you take care of it or just jerk off alone?
This guy is really hot and I bet the sex would be great, but is it worth the hassle to get up and go over? Curse the morning wood struggle, I'll just jerk off alone.
by RCtrlZ September 20, 2020
mugGet the morning wood strugglemug.

chop some wood

To chop some wood means to jack off.
I told the other guys, "Hey dudes - I gotta go chop some wood - wanna cum?"
by USAF Cadet July 13, 2021
mugGet the chop some woodmug.

Tiger Woods Status

Your brain turning off the sound or images from media saturation. Auto-mute.
Joe Paterno now has Tiger Woods Status.}

The Kardashians have Tiger Woods Status
by Catdog12756 November 12, 2011
mugGet the Tiger Woods Statusmug.

Tree Falls in the Woods

When an individual sexually pleasures him/herself in a room (usually a dorm room) with another person in it, but the other person doesn't know. Typically the person that doesn't know is asleep or drunk.
Girl 1: Hey roommate, if a tree falls in the woods but nobody hears it, does it really make a sound?
Girl 2: Bitch don't get all philosophical n shit on me I know you fucked yourself last night.
Girl 1: fml
by Mr.nj June 13, 2016
mugGet the Tree Falls in the Woodsmug.

evil wood goblin

an alpha male who turns into 'evil wood goblin' after consuming marijuana. this male is devilishly attractive and smells like sexual chocolate, a volcano of hotness but can suddenly become cold if hurt. impossible not to love as alpha or wood goblin.
'hey alpha hunter male, do you want to dance..NO I just want to sleep' right now I am evil wood goblin
by big bottom December 27, 2013
mugGet the evil wood goblinmug.

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