DLNP

Acronym for Dreaded Late Night Poop.
We’ve all been there. You’re freshly showered, thinking about counting sheep, ready to hunker down for the night, and then it hits you. You have to poop. “Shit!” you curse quietly. It’s at this point you start to ask yourself questions: Can I hold it till the morning? Didn’t I just poop a few hours ago? Will I be able to sleep after this? You ponder for a few minutes, but ultimately decide that you have no choice but to lay some cable. You begrudgingly walk to the bathroom and succumb to the ever-powerful force that is the DLNP.

Employee: Sorry for being late to work, boss. Couldn’t sleep last night after my DLNP got me out of my rhythm.
Boss: What in the absolute dick punch fuck are you talking about? You’re fired.

by Mr.nj November 25, 2019

Tindick

When you're checking tinder and a dick just pops up.

Guy 1: I was checking tinder for some babes last night but then some huge ass dick popped up on my screen.
Guy 2: Guess you got Tindick-ed

by Mr.nj June 12, 2016

Paige Turner

A dude who tells all his friends he's fucking a girl, but it's really the same girl he was fucking last year and he's just calling her a different name

Barry is such a Paige Turner, said he was fucking Pamela but is was really Randi, just like last year. Cuz that's the only puss he can get

by Mr.nj April 14, 2017

Red Ghost

When ya hoe's on her period and blocks ya ass on Snap

Tanya's vag must be bleeding cuz she Red Ghost-ed me again what a fuckin bitch

by Mr.nj April 14, 2017

Madeira

A school full of rich spoiled cunts that love to fuck up meaningful and authentic relationships. They may intern on capital hill to learn politics, but in reality they are pulling some Monica Lewinsky shit. But they are too pussy to actually suck dick. FYI half of them have syphilis.

Guy 1: Hey bro I matched with this hoe on tinder and she’s a senior at Madeira gonna go see her she looks hot af.

Guy 2: NO. FUCK NO. DO NOT DO THAT. SHES A STANKY PRUDE AND WILL NOT PUT OUT. RED FLAG ABORT ABORT

by Mr.nj May 28, 2018

Stale Gumball

A wannabe hoe who's afraid of being in a relationship. She spends as long as she can drawing a guy in and leading him on, making him think she's "the one," but then once the guy makes a move she goes apeshit on him, rejects him hard, and makes him feel like a fucking piece of shit loser.

Guy 1: "Hey how'd things go with that chick you've been crazy about for the last month?"
Guy 2: "She's a fucking stale gumball, dude. You see her and for some reason just need to have her; she looks so delicious and seems so sweet, but then you go to bite into her expecting a nice soft piece of gum and instead she breaks your jaw."
Guy 1: "Fuck, you spent way too long thinking about that. I hope you're over that bitch."

by Mr.nj April 16, 2017

Tree Falls in the Woods

When an individual sexually pleasures him/herself in a room (usually a dorm room) with another person in it, but the other person doesn't know. Typically the person that doesn't know is asleep or drunk.

Girl 1: Hey roommate, if a tree falls in the woods but nobody hears it, does it really make a sound?
Girl 2: Bitch don't get all philosophical n shit on me I know you fucked yourself last night.
Girl 1: fml

by Mr.nj June 13, 2016