by Mr.nj April 15, 2017
Why can't Jake get any action? He's a pretty nice dude and seems to do everything right but the guy can't get laid for shit. It's a real head scratcher...
by Mr.nj April 16, 2017
Simply a dump at work. The only two logical reasons someone would ever take a dump at work is because it's a total fucking emergency or your boss is a total dick and you just want to be paid for sitting on the toilet.
Guy 1: Hey boss I just took a 45 minute work dump, that's like 7 bucks just to wipe my ass.
Boss: I hope you get hemorrhoids you dick.
Boss: I hope you get hemorrhoids you dick.
by Mr.nj April 12, 2016
A school full of rich spoiled cunts that love to fuck up meaningful and authentic relationships. They may intern on capital hill to learn politics, but in reality they are pulling some Monica Lewinsky shit. But they are too pussy to actually suck dick. FYI half of them have syphilis.
Guy 1: Hey bro I matched with this hoe on tinder and she’s a senior at Madeira gonna go see her she looks hot af.
Guy 2: NO. FUCK NO. DO NOT DO THAT. SHES A STANKY PRUDE AND WILL NOT PUT OUT. RED FLAG ABORT ABORT
Guy 2: NO. FUCK NO. DO NOT DO THAT. SHES A STANKY PRUDE AND WILL NOT PUT OUT. RED FLAG ABORT ABORT
by Mr.nj April 21, 2018
When a nerdy ass white dude hasn't gotten any pussy in the 40 years of his existence but somehow finds some fugly Chinese lady to marry him. Called Drain Trap because she kept him from falling into eternal virginity.
Guy 1: I'm so happy for Bert. The guy hasn't even talked to a girl since freshman year of college but he and Sung-Ling just found each other.
Guy 2: Classic Drain Trap, look it up.
Guy 2: Classic Drain Trap, look it up.
by Mr.nj February 26, 2019
Guy 1: I was checking tinder for some babes last night but then some huge ass dick popped up on my screen.
Guy 2: Guess you got Tindick-ed
Guy 2: Guess you got Tindick-ed
by Mr.nj April 13, 2016
Acronym for Dreaded Late Night Poop.
We’ve all been there. You’re freshly showered, thinking about counting sheep, ready to hunker down for the night, and then it hits you. You have to poop. “Shit!” you curse quietly. It’s at this point you start to ask yourself questions: Can I hold it till the morning? Didn’t I just poop a few hours ago? Will I be able to sleep after this? You ponder for a few minutes, but ultimately decide that you have no choice but to lay some cable. You begrudgingly walk to the bathroom and succumb to the ever-powerful force that is the DLNP.
We’ve all been there. You’re freshly showered, thinking about counting sheep, ready to hunker down for the night, and then it hits you. You have to poop. “Shit!” you curse quietly. It’s at this point you start to ask yourself questions: Can I hold it till the morning? Didn’t I just poop a few hours ago? Will I be able to sleep after this? You ponder for a few minutes, but ultimately decide that you have no choice but to lay some cable. You begrudgingly walk to the bathroom and succumb to the ever-powerful force that is the DLNP.
Employee: Sorry for being late to work, boss. Couldn’t sleep last night after my DLNP got me out of my rhythm.
Boss: What in the absolute dick punch fuck are you talking about? You’re fired.
Boss: What in the absolute dick punch fuck are you talking about? You’re fired.
by Mr.nj November 26, 2019