leftover turtle motor 

It’s the turtle left behind. But he’s fast and fightsy and will double as your trolling motor if you are nice

I don’t know how we would’ve got home without that leftover turtle motor

leftover turtle motor by Thatdumblonde August 30, 2021

The Turtle's Kiss

When a man manufactures a dump so perfect that as it glides over his prostate it causes mild to moderate sexual release.

Bill: "Hey Steve. I did a huge dump this morning which was so perfect that I almost had a orgasm"
Steve: "ah, I see you have experienced the majesty of The Turtle's Kiss"

The Turtle's Kiss by Souper Rare April 28, 2022

Lucky the Lag Turtle 

The cause of copious amounts of lag and anger while playing video games

"Are you serious!? I just domed that guy 4 times! Lucky the lag turtle is shitting on my house right now."

or

"What!? How did I get in this rock? Lucky the lag turtle's a cold mistress"

Lucky the Lag Turtle by VerbleAbuse January 14, 2010

Luck of a Turtle 

When someone/something is having very bad luck. As turtles have little to no luck because they are slow and if they end up on their back they cannot get up.

A soccer team keeps getting shots on goal, but just cannot get the ball in.

Max states: God! We have the luck of a turtle right now!

Luck of a Turtle by mills messsss November 7, 2010

feared the turtle 

Fear the Turtle is what a woman experiences when she realizes halfway through vaginal intercourse that her bowels are full and her enjoyment of the sex has been superseded by her fear of crapping the bed.

Sue had to ask Drew to stop fucking her because she feared the turtle. She got on the can for a minute, then hopped back in bed, and no longer feared the turtle.

feared the turtle by Wangus Maximuz May 14, 2011

Jon's Turtle 

Jon's everything. Mom, dad, sister, dog, best friend, EVERYTHING. Not to be confused with Jon's tortoise

Person: "Hey Jon, how's your Jon's turtle"
Jon: "o_o"

Jon's Turtle by Aly and Vyacheslav October 29, 2012

scissoring off the turtle head 

When you are taking a shit, it's the last little pieces to come out.

Dude 1: Cmon' bro, let's hit the clubs.

Dude 2 (taking massive dump): One sec, man, I'm scissoring off the turtle head.

scissoring off the turtle head by Heezy P. March 16, 2014