Jesus cock

A penis that has been through so many beatings and scabs and Unprotection and punishment but to true people mostly women know the true orgasmic prosperity of this penis it is like no other crucified so that it may rise again it is the perfect cock causing true worship towards this penis

I am forever endowed to dominic Jesus cock

by Who’s hunting whom September 11, 2020

Teased to Jesus

A hairdo where the hair is lifted extremely high. This usually involves a large amount of mousse and/or hairspray. The term "teased" is a normal term in hairdressing to mean fluffed, altered, and styled. "To Jesus" is a reference which means the hair is raised so high, it almost reaches the sky, or Heaven.

Did you see Tina's new hairdo? I swear it was teased to Jesus! For a moment, I thought it was 1984 again.

by CrazyJay September 17, 2010

Jesus crap!

1. A corruption of the phrase "Jesus Christ!"
2. An exclamation usually used after one had been owned.
3. Said after an incredible event/an event thought to never occur.

"Jesus crap!" may be used in the same manner as Sweet Jesus, but only sparingly.

"Dude, Golden Corral burnt down yesterday."
"Jesus crap!"

"Jesus crap! They got friggin' owned!"

by T3GM January 8, 2009

Word to Jesus

Something ONLY you and your beliefs can resolve. Usually in reference to ambiguous or philosophical questions with no real answer.

Tom: Hey, What is the meaning of life?

Jerry: Word to Jesus.

by The Gotti December 21, 2010

Mach Jesus

Something traveling well above the "reasonable speed" that it should be

Me and my buddy were traveling Mach Jesus down the back roads on a beer run last night

by SomeRedneck69 June 10, 2021

Jesus fishing

vi. The act of attempting to lure people into one's belief system by evangelizing or proselytizing. E.g. a Mac user trying to convert a PC user.

Jim is such a big fan of the iphone that he cannot resist Jesus fishing whenever he knows he among a bunch of Blackberry users.

by Seb13 February 26, 2009

Christ Jesus

An expression used to denote utter surprise, horror and confusion; used in "Return of the Living Dead" when two paramedics encounter a horde of ravenous undead zombies on the hunt for brains.

Can also be used to denote complete disgust with a person or situation.

"Do you hear that?"

(looks down the road at undead hordes of brain eating zombies)

"Christ Jesus!"

or....

Man1 : "Did you flush the toilet after you dropped that monster dook?"

Man2: "Nope."

Man1: "Christ Jesus. You are disgusting."

by Johnny Gobs July 6, 2010