Christ Jesus

An expression used to denote utter surprise, horror and confusion; used in "Return of the Living Dead" when two paramedics encounter a horde of ravenous undead zombies on the hunt for brains.

Can also be used to denote complete disgust with a person or situation.
"Do you hear that?"

(looks down the road at undead hordes of brain eating zombies)

"Christ Jesus!"

or....

Man1 : "Did you flush the toilet after you dropped that monster dook?"

Man2: "Nope."

Man1: "Christ Jesus. You are disgusting."
by Johnny Gobs July 01, 2010
Get the Christ Jesus mug.

Teased to Jesus

A hairdo where the hair is lifted extremely high. This usually involves a large amount of mousse and/or hairspray. The term "teased" is a normal term in hairdressing to mean fluffed, altered, and styled. "To Jesus" is a reference which means the hair is raised so high, it almost reaches the sky, or Heaven.
Did you see Tina's new hairdo? I swear it was teased to Jesus! For a moment, I thought it was 1984 again.
by CrazyJay September 17, 2010
Get the Teased to Jesus mug.

Jesus fishing

vi. The act of attempting to lure people into one's belief system by evangelizing or proselytizing. E.g. a Mac user trying to convert a PC user.
Jim is such a big fan of the iphone that he cannot resist Jesus fishing whenever he knows he among a bunch of Blackberry users.
by Seb13 February 26, 2009
Get the Jesus fishing mug.

Jesus of Dublin

He talks like he is Jesus of Dublin
by Steffen 'Jint' Jørgensen January 19, 2008
Get the Jesus of Dublin mug.

Jesus cock

A penis that has been through so many beatings and scabs and Unprotection and punishment but to true people mostly women know the true orgasmic prosperity of this penis it is like no other crucified so that it may rise again it is the perfect cock causing true worship towards this penis
I am forever endowed to dominic Jesus cock
by Who’s hunting whom September 12, 2020
Get the Jesus cock mug.

Word to Jesus

Something ONLY you and your beliefs can resolve. Usually in reference to ambiguous or philosophical questions with no real answer.
Tom: Hey, What is the meaning of life?

Jerry: Word to Jesus.
by The Gotti December 21, 2010
Get the Word to Jesus mug.

Jesus crap!

1. A corruption of the phrase "Jesus Christ!"
2. An exclamation usually used after one had been owned.
3. Said after an incredible event/an event thought to never occur.

"Jesus crap!" may be used in the same manner as Sweet Jesus, but only sparingly.
"Dude, Golden Corral burnt down yesterday."
"Jesus crap!"

"Jesus crap! They got friggin' owned!"
by T3GM January 02, 2008
Get the Jesus crap! mug.