The Kristian metaphor relates to someone whose reputation (usually lies spread by ex fuck boys) is that of a harlot, and one with an IQ lower than that of Forrest Gump, but is in fact not a harlot and quite intelligent; far more than the average fuck boy believes. Often simple projection but on a larger scale.
"Everyone thinks I'm a dumb slut, but usually the guys I date and it's always THEM who cheat and quite frankly, are as slow as a Windows 98 with 2k songs downloaded by Napster. Why does the Kristian Effect have to curse ME?!?!"
by Flopstar89 July 2, 2023
Get the The Kristian Effect mug.Kind, Loving, Sexy, and Smart. Are only a few descriptors of the Wonderful, Sent from Heaven, and Perfectly Complex Kristian.
It is impossible to not like Kristian.
All women love Kristian.
Kristian loves all women. However, does not have a strong thirst and lust like those with the name Andreano.
On cold days Kristian's penis length ranges from 9-12 inches.
On warm days Kristian's penis can grow to almost a football pitch.
Kristian's awesomeness cannot be compared to any worldly thing.
He is the coolest and most popular of his friends.
It is impossible to not like Kristian.
All women love Kristian.
Kristian loves all women. However, does not have a strong thirst and lust like those with the name Andreano.
On cold days Kristian's penis length ranges from 9-12 inches.
On warm days Kristian's penis can grow to almost a football pitch.
Kristian's awesomeness cannot be compared to any worldly thing.
He is the coolest and most popular of his friends.
Any Girl: Wow, I can see his massive dick bulging out his pants.
Any Guy: I wish I could be that cool.
Playboy Models: I wish someone like Kristian Lane was in the business.
Any Guy: I wish I could be that cool.
Playboy Models: I wish someone like Kristian Lane was in the business.
by KoolGuyKeml56746 June 5, 2018
Get the Kristian Lane mug.A small dick man, who doesn't respect women, and is short as hell also walks funny, tries to be nonchalant but is really a loser
by karie_girl April 3, 2025
Get the Kristian mug.a cute as boyfriend that loves u no matter what happens and then u think that he think u like someone else but really u have fallen more deeply in love with him then you think
him: "whos that?"
her: "well hes my kristian"
him: "uh but that means...."
her: "yeah i know"
him: "ok.."
her: "well hes my kristian"
him: "uh but that means...."
her: "yeah i know"
him: "ok.."
by ok fineeee September 14, 2020
Get the kristian mug.Kristian is an amazing guy, He’s really sweet and loving once you get to know him. He’s funny and everything you could ever ask for. He has a big ass heart and is willing to always help you no matter what.
by kronywony July 13, 2022
Get the Kristian mug.kristian is the type of person to want to have sex with his closest friends and record it while jerking off, but kristian isn’t only a faggot he is also a dumb unintelligent fuck that likes to get pipped down by middle aged men that live in basements.
by the Nigga that fucked yo girl February 18, 2019
Get the Kristian mug.