douche canoe

He is a dickhead

That kid is such a douche canoe

by nursekelly528 January 27, 2015

Douche Canoe

Douche Canoe (noun): A self-absorbed, obnoxious individual who drifts through life on a raft of arrogance, bad takes, and an utter lack of self-awareness. Often mistaken for a human, but upon closer inspection, closely resembles a sentient, poorly groomed toe with an attitude problem because he likely sat on a pinecone.

Example: Kyle, the human embodiment of a stubbed toe, leaned back in his chair, manspreading like he was claiming land, and loudly explaining why everyone else was wrong about literally everything. Between flexing his "elite genetics" (despite looking like a swollen big toe) and hitting on anything that moved, he remained blissfully unaware that the entire room was desperately hoping for a strong gust of wind to carry his douche canoe far, far away.

by Sassenach March 14, 2025

two seater douche canoe

One who is filled so much with douche that it would fit inside a two seater canoe.

That kid is the biggest kind of jerk. One might call him a two seater douche canoe

by SwagBadger August 28, 2012

Douche Canoe

A douche of such magnitude you need a watercraft to navigate.

I can't believe he stole that kids bike, what a douche canoe!

by txdollface April 26, 2016

Douche Canoe

A petty fuck boy who ain’t shit & works a fast food job that he will be at until he dies.

Man, ol boy Gary is such a douche canoe!

by QueenPetty420 December 21, 2017

Douche Canoe

A canoe of douche; also known as Wilk Nasty

That guy is such a douche canoe

by ray90 November 15, 2018

Douche Canoe

Noun:

An individual capable of such douchebaggary, that their capacity well exceeds the confines off just a bag.

That Billy Hotdog is such a douche canoe, he had to sign a written agreement with his boss, limiting his overabundant workplace douchebaggary.

by Bigbrothathunda!!! September 19, 2019