The feeling of sudden,
uncontrollable enthusiasm that causes a person to flap their arms, shout
incomprehensible phrases, or spin in a circle for no discernible reason. Commonly triggered by excessive joy, caffeine, or spotting a frog wearing a tiny hat.
In ancient folklore (that I just made up), being “zooted” was considered a blessing from the mythical squirrel god Blorbo of the Trees, who granted mortals temporary bursts of
chaotic energy to escape boring conversations or awkward family dinners. Zooted individuals were marked by their glittery eyes, high-pitched giggles, and tendency to misplace objects they were literally holding.
Today, people may become zooted during moments such as receiving a mildly exciting text, hearing a good beat drop, or discovering that their fries came with extra nuggets. Symptoms include speed-walking for no reason, saying “slay” to inanimate objects, and aggressively complimenting strangers. There is no known cure — and honestly, why would you want one?