Kevlar Vest

Kevlar Vest is a term describing a conspiracy theory that is more fact than fiction, the antithesis to a Tinfoil Hat conspiracy theory which is more fiction then fact. Typically investigating a Kevlar Vest conspiracy theory is bad for one’s health, thus you would require a “Kevlar Vest”.
Paul: “All I’m saying is that Epstein didn’t kill himself!”
Sally: *Rips off face, revealing herself to be an FBI agent.*
FBI Agent: “You should have stopped digging.”
Paul: “Aww man, I knew this was a Kevlar Vest Conspiracy.”
FBI Agent: *Kills Paul, frames it as a suicide.*
by chinsaw2727 September 30, 2022
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Madison Vest

Madison is the crackhead of the group and is always hyper. She loves being weird and is amazing. She loves her bffs and she will treat them well. But don’t get her triggered she will get her friend, charli and she will punch the frick out of you.
Someone: hey
Madison Vest: hEy i lIke potatos.
Someone: umm
by Cough drops October 31, 2019
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cashmere vest

It's where they guy poops on the girl's chest anytime during sex. Or vise versa.
Oh baby, that was so good! A cashmere vest would make this evening perfect!
by Leviathan72 May 28, 2017
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you wore a jean vest

to call out somebody's hypocritical and ironic behaviour, quoted by Nicki Minaj circa 2011.
"The jacket gon-"
"The jacket looks great i don't know whatcha talkin' about but every woman in here is gonna like that- please it's- you wore a jean vest"
by hiraikills July 11, 2022
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wine vest

When your body gets really warm from drinking alcohol, you’re wearing your “wine vest.”
I’m sweating so much after that cocktail party, it must be my wine vest.
by Hailrobonia July 17, 2019
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