problems

The human condition.

I not only have problems, I am problems.

by Ereck Flowers November 26, 2018

The Problem

A very serious issue when your butthole itches, and you can't scratch it (because you're in public, on a date, at a party, etc)

You: Matthew, what is wrong? Why are you standing in that corner?
Matthew: Man, I got 'The Problem' real bad!

by The Awesomenator August 29, 2005

Houston, we've had a problem here

Originally a genuine report of a life-threatening fault. Now used humorously to report any kind of problem.

John Swigert, Jr. and James Lovell who, with Fred Haise Jr., made up the crew of the US's Apollo 13 moon flight used (almost) this phrase to report a major technical problem back to their Houston base.

Swigert: 'Okay, Houston, we've had a problem here.'
Duke: 'This is Houston. Say again please.'
Lovell: 'Houston, we've had a problem. We've had a main B bus undervolt.'

by Archon723 July 17, 2009

No problem

A way of telling your boss, ''Fuck You'' without him knowing..

Boss ''Can you work Saturday''
Employee ''Sure,no problem''

by thefullronnie September 27, 2011

Daddy Problems

When a girl's (usually rich) father doesn't spend any time with her when she's little. This makes the girl long for male attention and turns into a slut.

Girl 1: Did you see that new girl? She was all over David, Alex, AND Mark!

Girl 2: Daddy Problems.

by WTF1111111111 January 24, 2010

no problemo

An Americanized version of the Spanish "no problema" which means "no problem". Pretty much accepted as slang in American society. Appeared in the popular film Terminator 2 and in the television series The Simpsons.

Girlfriend: Hey honey, can you pick up some wheat germ from the store for me?
Boyfriend: Sure, no problemo.
Girlfriend: That's "no problema"!
Boyfriend: Yeah, yeah, whatever.

by Spidey and Cheep August 18, 2007

The Pee-Noise Problem

1.) A constant feeling that the noise of one's pee stream hitting the water produces a less manly noise than those of his fellow bathroom guests...suggesting that he has an inadequate sized dong.

2.) A sign that your prostate may in fact be creeping its way up the weinershaft. If your pee-noise suddenly becomes less manly, talk to a doctor.

Man one: **loud and thunderious pee noise**
Man one's thoughts: Thank god I don't have the pee-noise problem

Man two: **high pitched pee noise"
Man two's thoughts: Does this mean I got a small dick? Maybe he just has a small dick hole... why do I have a small dick hole? Do small dick holes mean small dicks? HOW SMALL IS TOO SMALL FOR A HOLE TO BE THE SMALL HOLE OF A SMALL DICK!!?????

by SmallGlovesSmallSocks March 29, 2011