Jacob

"I heard Jacob jerked off to Jareds girlfriend."
"No Doubt"
by Jared Knoll December 11, 2012
mugGet the Jacobmug.

Jacob

I am Jacob.

view me as you would any other figure of art, for I am a masterpiece. the seams within my seams have been delicately crafted by the most seductive hands, my astonishing personality is beyond the likes of any entity on the mortal playing field. gaze into my somber eyes and unlock your truest feelings towards me, perceive what cannot be comprehended from a mere outside view. I am truly a pillar of omnipotent pride, masterful handiwork, and deep compassion towards society and its playthings.
Man: "God, Jacob is so fucking cool."
Woman: "I agree. I want him so badly. UGH!"
by jacob billings. April 5, 2019
mugGet the Jacobmug.

Jacob

A guy who is is really tall and blond, and also has ridicuously big feet. Size 14. He's really funny and goofy.. And he will be your friend for a while until he stops talking to you for no reason. He also likes to lie.
Girl 1: Was Jacob your friend?
Girl 2: yeah, but one day he stopped talking to me.
by Lalala122345678910 January 4, 2012
mugGet the Jacobmug.

Jacob

An inconsiderate asshole who slaps women, and emotionally beats people. He doesn't care about anyone but himself, and is probably gay. He cuts himself for attention and drinks too much coffee. He is exceptionally prone to occasional bouts of manopause, and never showers, washes his clothes, or wears deoderant. Also, did I mention he never brushes his teeth? NASTY. All and all, he's just a bad guy.
Oh nothing... Just Jacob, yano?
by OperationMJC June 2, 2011
mugGet the Jacobmug.

Jacob

Jacob is an amazing guy. He has the softest lips and they taste so sweet when you kiss him. He has red hair and will love you for who you are and will never cheat on you. He may be short but he is perfect in all ways and will always be there for you.
Girl: Have you met Jacob he is soo cute
Me: Yeah Jacob is my boyfriend
Girl: OMG YOUR SO LUCKY
Me:*texts jacob* love you baby ❤
by Ashlyn+Jacob=❤ March 24, 2019
mugGet the Jacobmug.

Jacob

A Jacob is typically a small insignificant male who absolutely despises himself, but is also okay with himself. He always feels like shit, but he always acts like he is fine because he doesn't want to burden people with his issues. If he has siblings, he loves them to death and always wants to help them with their problems. He makes terrible, and I mean terrible jokes because he knows they're terrible, and he does it to annoy people. A Jacob is usually a charming individual, who can convince most people to give him what he wants. When a Jacob is depressed, he fabricates a thought that everyone should hate him, and he will go out of his way to make people hate him. He can seem like a terrible friend at times, but when you really need him, he'll always come through.
Person 1: Hey Jacob, how's it going?
Jacob: Fuck you, I want food.
by Gitts November 22, 2017
mugGet the Jacobmug.

Jacob

Jacob is the nicest, funniest and most caring person ever. Though he may be shy at first, if you get to know him he's a great friend. He's very modest, so modest he doesn't know how to take a compliment. Girls chase him around and go crazy over him, except there will be one girl who is one of his best friends that ends up falling for him but thinks she'll never be good enough for him. That's Jacob for you.
Girl: Hey Jacob
Jacob: Hey, what's up
G: Not much, I was just wondering if you'd like to hang out sometime
J: Sure, that sounds like fun
by DiamondXD November 29, 2018
mugGet the Jacobmug.

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