Douche Canoe

Douche canoe describes the personality of draco malfoy from the harry potter series. Douche canoe is basically an obnoxious and weird person.

Hey! Can you not be a douche canoe?

by SonaIsGold June 6, 2021

Dick douche canoe

Asshole/Jerk

Karen was being a dick douche canoe and driving in the left lane.

by Willie June 11, 2021

Douche Canoe

A pussified person lacking any sort of balls to get a job done.

That douche canoe needs to fucking punch the gas and get the fuck out of my way.

by PRINCESS PHROGG June 17, 2021

Douche Canoe

A person, usually male, who you wish would row, row, row the fuck away from you.

OMG he is being so obnoxious for no reason, like first he is all nice and I think we will be friends, but now he is just being a douche canoe.

by adidasDUDE August 30, 2025

Douche Canoe

Douche Canoe (noun): A self-absorbed, obnoxious individual who drifts through life on a raft of arrogance, bad takes, and an utter lack of self-awareness. Often mistaken for a human, but upon closer inspection, closely resembles a sentient, poorly groomed toe with an attitude problem because he likely sat on a pinecone.

Example: Kyle, the human embodiment of a stubbed toe, leaned back in his chair, manspreading like he was claiming land, and loudly explaining why everyone else was wrong about literally everything. Between flexing his "elite genetics" (despite looking like a swollen big toe) and hitting on anything that moved, he remained blissfully unaware that the entire room was desperately hoping for a strong gust of wind to carry his douche canoe far, far away.

by Sassenach March 14, 2025

Douche Canoe

Someone, such as a business leader or head of school who makes a drastic change at the last minute that impacts the entire staff and gives 0 fucks about it.

T:"there is a safety issue with the building. What should we do?"
J:"extend the school year at the last minute of course!"
T:"perfect! Morale is low anyway, so fuck'em"

Staff:"wow....what a bunch of douche canoes"

by AlSnow June 12, 2023

Douche canoe

An arrogant ignorant individual that is causing the rest of the world as much pain as possible somebody who’s over the top worse than it a regular douche bag he’s the douche of all douche someone think they’re entitled arrogant selfish

You’re sure a huge douche canoe a flop, woman abuser, narcissistic, asshole that feels entitled feels like you don’t have to work. You can just mooch off of everybody piece of shit. Father doesn’t take care of any responsibilities and bitches and complains about everything that’s not given to them, arrogant useless heartless, and the only thing that they have going for them is their sexual attachment that their parents gave them a person that gets their dick from their mom and not their dad.

Man Ricky, why do you gotta be such a douche canoe?

by Dick Michael Miller March 27, 2025