Grinding the turtle

Having sex up against a wall with a fat girl wearing a tight girdle, the skirt of which rubs the base of your dick raw!

"Did I see you at it with Fat Annie round the back just now, Dude?" Yeah! I need ointment! I was really Grinding the Turtle!

by dickkidido February 25, 2011

turtle body

A significantly obese person, usually a woman. So named for their inability to rest their arms parallel to their bodies, and their shuffling walk.

If they were to fall on their backs, they'd likely be unable to get up.

"So, you think there'll be any hot chicks at that Def Leppard tribute band's concert?"

"Well, there's guaranteed to be a turtle body or 20."

by Nam-shub of Enki May 26, 2006

turtle fucked

when a group of people are sitting around a table, playing a drinking game and one person slams down one bottle of beer on top of the another.bottom of one beer is slamming on the neck of the other beer...causing the beer to foam and the owner of the beer drinking a lot

chris leans over and slams his beer on garrett's and yells "turtle fucked!"

by girlcowboysfan April 28, 2009

Turtle Jerk

Turtle Jerk is when someone is giving a handjob and covers the head of the penis so when the male ejactulates cum wont pray all over. It's named after the handforming a shell, as in turtles having shells.

Be smart Sandy, Turtle Jerk me. I mean, this is a new couch.

by www.geocities.com/project_fallen June 06, 2004

turtle pond

when you fill someones mouth with cum so much it looks like a pond, your teeth are the turtles

last night i gave your mom a turtle pond

by Mr.Soup November 20, 2013

turtle dropping

The ninth turtle dropping season is just around the courner, unknown to most of you turtle dropping is a well celebrated sprot

goodbye chester, im off to drop turtles

by anguris neo Mk2 November 07, 2003

Turtle Heading

When you lightly push your anus to see if what is coming is just a fart but then you realize it's actually a poop and the tip of the turd begins to come out just like a turtle sticks its head out of its shell to check its surroundings.

Emma: Damn I thought I just had to fart but when I was turtle heading I stained my underwear.
Emily: I told you not to push that hard, now we have to buy you new undies!

by Paytonglaser April 13, 2017