Road Turd

When travelling in a vehicle for great distances, ie all day, you are forced to hold your bowels due to the lack of clean restrooms.

Jack(Passenger seat): Brad why are you all clenched up with sweats over there?

Brad(Driving): Because I've been driving for 600 miles and my Road Turd is crowning! I can't wait to get home to my bathroom.

by SpicyTuna23 August 23, 2011

Turd Jerk

A sexual act in which one defecates into the palm of ones hand to then grip the turd-covered palm around the shaft of the users penis, while violently, yet carefully, keeping the turd safe within the proximity of said penis.

We were having an alright time at the party until Roger got too drunk and started turd jerking Samuel in front of everyone

by Mattimus87 June 14, 2011

Turd Blanket

A bed of toilet paper placed at the bottom of a porta-potty to cushion the turd as it drops to prevent splash back and literal “blue balls”.

I didn’t want blue balls when shitting in the job Johnny so I was sure to put down a turd blanket.

by Cosbypoliton October 6, 2022

Turd Trampoline

A layer of toilet paper put into the toilet to prevent a back splash whilst taking a dump.

Russ don't forget to lay out the turd trampoline. Protect that ass from the shit water splash.

by 123bdk March 29, 2021

Twat Turd

A person who dictates posts topically to make sure they suit his personal agenda of taking over the world and slaying all the dirty hoochies

Chad sure is being a Twat Turd today.
Justin likes to act like a Twat Turd on Facebook posts for no reason.

by Ambizness June 12, 2018

Turd of Mouth

Australian comedy Podcast reviewing shit reviews. Totes meta. Top 10 in comedy charts on iTunes. Fookin hilarious.

Hey douchebag, you heard any good new funny podcasts recently?

Yeah mate, fuckin Turd of Mouth ey.

by Sum Yun Guy III November 5, 2018

turd licker

someone male or female that gives a blowjob after anal and there are turd stains on the dick

"yo so you know sandy"

"yeah"

"she is a turd licker"

"bruh"

by kid dying in a mini van February 23, 2021