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Behrens Theory

Any female at the age of 16 and up under the height of 5'3 has relatively bigger thighs, an automatic dumpy, and possibly bigger breasts than the average other woman.
by Simply Behren July 25, 2022
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Theory of Gyatt

Gyatt = ((circumference of gyatt - circumference of waist) + (circumference of gyatt - circumference of thigh)) x Rate of double take

G = ((Cg-Cw)+(Cg-Ct)) x Rdt

*Subject change pending further proof of gyatt levels
"Bro, she's got a Gyatt." "nah, bro, that one is better." "Well, I guess we'll have to plug some measurements into the Theory of Gyatt to determine which ones better."
by $BENJI$ February 18, 2025
mugGet the Theory of Gyattmug.

Critical Race Theory

The most misunderstood theory in history.

This theory was meant to be used and understood in an academic context, but apparently a few people decided it would be "cool" to use in mainstream discourse (i.e. social media). Thus, the misunderstanding begins.

In all seriousness, for one to understand CRT, you would need to understand what "critical theory" is first. I am referring to the philosophical theory and framework written by Adorno & Horkheimer, which is basically a heated critique on mass-produced culture.

If one does not understand the tenets to this theory, then one should not voice their uninformed opinions on said theory.

Of course, perhaps the fault lies more in the people who decided to abuse this term. And in that case, I understand you 100%, but at the same time it's still unfair to dismiss it as BS.
๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—บ: "Critical Race Theory is a bunch of BS"
๐— ๐—ฒ: "No, it's not. Either you misunderstood the theory, or you haven't grasped the underlying philosophy behind it."
๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—บ: "I don't think I'd care enough to learn about it."
๐— ๐—ฒ: "If you don't wish to know more about it, that's fine, just admit you were wrong."
๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—บ: "Okay SJW."
๐— ๐—ฒ: "Look bro, I'm just being pedantic. Call me a nerd, a know-it-all, but I ain't got nothing to do with SJWs. In fact I'll happily listen to critiques against CRT."
mugGet the Critical Race Theorymug.

Telescope theory

It is when you see a person from a distance, and believe they are attractive, but when they get closer they are fugly.

This could affect both male and female persons from a distance, and in some cases the male/female person could look ugly from a distance, but when closer can possibly be attractive.
Woah she's hot bro!!

Dude dont forget about the 'telescope theory,' wait till she gets closer?

Awwh no way she's ugly!
by jizz u l8a August 25, 2011
mugGet the Telescope theorymug.

Ferris Theory

An observation on how well music played in a nightclub or at an event is responded/reacted to by people depending on how busy the place is, and nothing to do with the music at all.
Getting a strong sense of Ferris Theory in this place, wouldn't you agree?
by TwentyThousandKhz August 3, 2024
mugGet the Ferris Theorymug.

the quantum nigger theory

Quantum nigger theory is a theory in physics based on the concept of the subdivision of radiant energy into finite quanta and applied to numerous processes involving transference or transformation of energy in an atomic or molecular scale.

It is a field of physics that is required to understand phenomena at the molecular and atomic levels.

Quantum nigger theory is simply a new way of looking at the world, where the rules that apply to us don't apply to the tiny particles that quantum nigger theory deals with.

It was a breakthrough that led physicists to discover more about the world of physics and to understand our own world better, starting from the tiny particles of matter that are its building blocks.

One of the first ideas proposed to set quantum nigger mechanics apart from classical physics was Max Planckโ€™s idea that energy, like matter, was discontinuous.
nigger: yo bro do you know about the quantum nigger theory?

other nigger: nah can you tell me

nigger: well you bout to find out (shoots other nigger)

other nigger: AHHHHHHHH

(king von starts playing)

nigger: we not from 63rd
by quaniggerdris June 29, 2025
mugGet the the quantum nigger theorymug.

Category theory

Category theory, *very basically*, is the study of functions. ANY functions. ANYTHING that changes some object to another object is fair game here. Because of this FUNDAMENTAL property of "changing stuff into other stuff" being everywhere (lambda calculus, programming, normal math functions, even) it can reason about MANY disciplines of math, programming, and even language! So basically, it's universal tools for many things. Pretty useful! :)
My buddy has a PhD in pure mathematics and says.. "Studying category theory is like eating your vegetables." Not sure what that means but it has never left my mind. // Also it is technically composition not functions but shh we don't want to scare away the people who just saw this definition straight away
by mb6fbhsphdrcb April 23, 2025
mugGet the Category theorymug.

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