red carpeting

when you and your friends sit back and comment on anyone you see walking by

look at the fat chick with the shirt on that says "cutie"... seriously?
you see that dude's shoes? didn't know they still made L.A. Gear!!!
Sam and I were at the bar the other night, and we were red carpeting everyone that came through the door...

by knowledgeborn March 8, 2012

Asteroid Carpet

The act of sliding ones asshole up and down somes nose as if it were a credit card.

In the morning my friend woke up and said what smells like poop. we all laughed and said asteroid carpet.

by ZaneD March 10, 2012

Connery carpet

Thick chest hair

Look, all I'm asking is that he cleans up the Connery carpet. Shit's getting too thick, aint no one gonna get with that.

by Orez- December 7, 2012

The Carpenter Effect

When a person or persons find themselves inexplicably drawn either a trilby, glasses a scarf or all of the above. This person will then want to molest everything that moves. A known symptom of the Carpenter effect also includes blaring classical music from hidden speakers around your body, some may also find themselves compelled to provide a 'tuneful' accompaniment. They will look a bit silly.

"Did you see Taylor Momsen the other day?"
"Yeah she was suffering from 'The Carpenter Effect'!"

by DuckmanThesecond August 18, 2013

organ carpenter

One who makes wooden penis'

That guy is an organ carpenter. He widdles fake dicks out of wood

by uncle meatster December 5, 2013

grungy carpet

A very hairy vagina that has not been maintained well and is extremely unsanitary

A vagina with wool so dirty that you probably would get an STD from just touching it

"Bro, I went to fuck your sister yesterday, but she had a really bad grungy carpet. Get her to fix that shit homie."

by Parks and Rekt November 23, 2015

black carpet

when you don't wipe well and you get a poop stain going up your crack

You see that hes got a black carpet

by BigkingLee March 20, 2016