Jesus queef

The holy queef. The expulsion of holy water from jesus’ pussy.

Oh my that was quite the holy queef. One could say its a jesus queef.

by TheRealModernDayShakespeare281 March 30, 2022

Jesus-fuck

The prime expletive, to be used only by asskickers or in dire situations.

Jeff did my mom? JESUS-FUCK!!

by Philbert_McGee June 12, 2018

Sex jesus

Some dude that has sex with a lot of women and impregnated all of them then leaves them with the gift of a fatherless child. He also does birthday parties.

“Hey have you heard of the sex jesus?”
“Yea I have that’s my dad.”
“I heard he’s the dad of 1/23 of the planet”

by Havesafesex April 14, 2022

Jesus Relationship

A relationship that begins around Christmas and New Year (often started with a drunken hookup at a party) and that dies around Easter. A Jesus Relationship is often between two people who are incompatible, and survives for a few months due to the heightened joy around the holiday season, but dies as the year progresses.

Dan: Me and Mary weren't compatible, we were doomed to a Jesus Relationship.
Fin: Was she super religious or something?
Dan: No, it was just destined to die within a few months.

by Savemebarry January 12, 2016

Jesus of suburbia

Jesus of suburbia is a famous song from Green day's American Idiot album. After the huge popularity of the song the word Jesus of suburbia began being used for people relating to the songs lyrics. Being a Jesus of suburbia means feeling all alone, and it's just you and the world against you.

All my friends hate me and my girlfriend dumped my last night, i feel like the jesus of suburbia.

by DookieNookie February 8, 2019

busty jesus

A person so unique, unlikely, or weird that there is no other way to describe them than as a "busty jesus"

The party was mellow until three busty jesuses rolled up on Lime bikes wearing leopard print bathrobes and singing "Row Row Row Your Boat" in a round.

by Turler August 3, 2018

Tacky Jesus

When people, generally of African American descent randomly throw the word "Jesus", "Lord Almighty", or any other variation into a sentence where it doesn't quite belong.

"Hi Martha, how was your day?"
"I left the house without my shoes on Jesus, and didn't get to eat breakfast".
"Mannnn, why you got to be one of those tacky Jesus people?"

by Itsmanda January 24, 2013