Dribble jesus

An absolute G at playing ball (basketball)

Person A: “Good buckets out there’s man!”
Person B: “they call me dribble jesus for a reason.”

by Keepurselfsafe August 30, 2018

Tacky Jesus

When people, generally of African American descent randomly throw the word "Jesus", "Lord Almighty", or any other variation into a sentence where it doesn't quite belong.

"Hi Martha, how was your day?"
"I left the house without my shoes on Jesus, and didn't get to eat breakfast".
"Mannnn, why you got to be one of those tacky Jesus people?"

by Itsmanda January 24, 2013

Sex jesus

Some dude that has sex with a lot of women and impregnated all of them then leaves them with the gift of a fatherless child. He also does birthday parties.

“Hey have you heard of the sex jesus?”
“Yea I have that’s my dad.”
“I heard he’s the dad of 1/23 of the planet”

by Havesafesex April 14, 2022

speeding-Jesus

A car passing you while you are speeding. This car will most likely get stopped by the police instead of you. Thus, they sacrifice themselves for your speeding sins.

Thank you speeding-Jesus; I can keep driving fast now, as long as you are in front of me. Speeding-Jesus take wheel.

by heathcat June 15, 2019

Jesus-fuck

The prime expletive, to be used only by asskickers or in dire situations.

Jeff did my mom? JESUS-FUCK!!

by Philbert_McGee June 12, 2018

smoke Jesus

A joint rolled with a piece of paper from the Bible and the filter is a thicker piece of paper also from the Bible.

Or a joint or two that have the form of a cross.

Don’t just smoke weed smoke JESUS

by Jxhnny_Gxddamn August 6, 2019

Jesus Feet

When one's feet are super dirty from walking without shoes or socks. Much like Jesus' feet would have been.

"Dude. You have such Jesus feet right now. Clean yourself up, and put on shoes!"

by Steve Primanti August 25, 2014