So, the Greeks took over Israel and they were like, "YO, COME JOIN OUR RELIGION!" and Judah and his group be like, "You can't make us," and they continued on their Jewish way. The problem is, the Greeks would NOT STOP FREAKIN PESTERING THEM, and Judah was like, "I can't anymore, whaddaya say we fight them!?" And the boys were like, "You know what's up!" The group (called the Maccabees🐝) fought the Greeks as hard as they could. The problem was, the Jews back home barely had enough oil to light the menorah (there were no lightbulbs back then), and they only had enough for one day, and so the Jews were like, "Screw it, we need that light!" and lit the menorah, but when they woke up the menorah was still lit, and they were like, "Huh, that's weird." And the next day the menorah was still lit, and the Jews were like, "Okay, what is happening?" This also happened on the third day, and then the Jews were like, "WTF!?" This continued until the eighth night, which was also when the Maccabees🐝 took back their freedom and their temple (which was also raped by the Greeks), and they were finally able to eat their latkes in peace.
Quote:
Quote:
Person 1: "And that's the Hanukkah story."
Person 2: "Booorrrriiinnggg!"
*Person 1 whacks Person 2 with frying pan*
Person 1: "GET LATKE'D"
Person 2: "Booorrrriiinnggg!"
*Person 1 whacks Person 2 with frying pan*
Person 1: "GET LATKE'D"
by US-IL December 25, 2024
Get the Hanukkah story mug.by Nick Handel October 17, 2019
Get the Story carrier mug.Is a lie. The language isn't losing it's meaning you're just ignoring thing information that translate to your story being wrong.
Hym "And even that isn't entirely accurate because you didn't quite ignore it, you read it, understood that you were wrong, and then cried like a bitch because you are that. And now you're trying to make a point about a crime I did not commit. And I didn't make any echo chamber for myself. You are doing this TO me. I'm not ever doing the incest ritual Jordan and I kill someone's kid if you don't pay for my work. The story is fiction and it's used to cover us what actually happened."
by Hym Iam June 13, 2025
Get the The Story mug.A story so weird and absurd that you would not have believed that happend to that person. Was it not a Tess that told it.
by TrulyTheOneAndOnly June 18, 2025
Get the Tess Story mug.a sex story is basically a thing horny kids look up to get wet or hard. anyways here’s mine:
sarah was horny as fuck, but her friends amy and kyle were supposed to be over in 10 minutes. sarah couldn’t help herself bc her pussy was soaking through her panties, so she decided to put porn on and fuck herself anyways. she put her hand into her pants and started massaging her swollen clit and she was moaning so loud she didn’t hear her friends let themselves in. they walked in on her using her vibrator on herself to lesbian porn, looked at each other, and joined. kyle started fingering amy as amy ate sarah out. they were all moaning like mad, then they switched positions where amy and sarah were on top of kyle kissing and sucking each others tits, sarah was getting fucked by kyle’s 10 inch bwc and amy was getting tongue fucked by kyle. sarah and amy were moaning so loud as kyle was grabbing amy’s fat ass and sarah and amy were rubbing their sensitive 36d and 34c cup nipples on each other. amy started squirting on kyle’s face as sarah and kyle both came at the same time. after kyle came inside sarah, he grabbed amy by the hips and started hitting it from the back while amy ate kyles cum out of sarah’s pussy.
sarah was horny as fuck, but her friends amy and kyle were supposed to be over in 10 minutes. sarah couldn’t help herself bc her pussy was soaking through her panties, so she decided to put porn on and fuck herself anyways. she put her hand into her pants and started massaging her swollen clit and she was moaning so loud she didn’t hear her friends let themselves in. they walked in on her using her vibrator on herself to lesbian porn, looked at each other, and joined. kyle started fingering amy as amy ate sarah out. they were all moaning like mad, then they switched positions where amy and sarah were on top of kyle kissing and sucking each others tits, sarah was getting fucked by kyle’s 10 inch bwc and amy was getting tongue fucked by kyle. sarah and amy were moaning so loud as kyle was grabbing amy’s fat ass and sarah and amy were rubbing their sensitive 36d and 34c cup nipples on each other. amy started squirting on kyle’s face as sarah and kyle both came at the same time. after kyle came inside sarah, he grabbed amy by the hips and started hitting it from the back while amy ate kyles cum out of sarah’s pussy.
kyle was moaning so hard and spanking amy as she ate sarah out. “i love this big dick daddy!!!!” amy screamed. then kyle picked up sarah’s vibrator and put it on amy’s clit, and amy squirted everywhere. after amy came, kyle and amy used sarah’s dildo and vibrator on sarah, and sarah came everywhere. then, kyle cleaned up both of their pussies with his mouth and watched sarah and amy make out while rubbing each others nipples.
sarah: this was like my favorite sex story come true!
amy: mine too, my pussy is so beat
sarah: this was like my favorite sex story come true!
amy: mine too, my pussy is so beat
by queenshit9918 June 30, 2025
Get the sex story mug.-"Hey, Daddy, tonight I want you to make me cum." Jacquelle told me.
-"It's my first time," I said, and she started stripping off my shirt, revealing my six-pack. She licked it.
-"Then let's make the most of it," she replied, taking off my grey sweatpants. She then took off my boxers, revealing my six-inch, uncut dick. She gasped, seeing the bulge formed in my pants. I took off her shirt to reveal her huge, bra-less boobs.
We got into reverse cowgirl, and she started bouncing so hard. Her breasts were throbbing onto my face as she pushed harder and harder and moaned, pleasured. Her tits were huge, oh my. I stared at those Hiamalayas and only at them. When I started to feel like I was getting to the edge, I yelled:
-"I'm about to cum!"
She continued to thrust, and I cummed. She stopped, cumming as well.
-"That was so good, Papí,"
We lied down for a bit, and then she went under the covers and took off my condom to suck my cock. She was so good. I felt the grip of her mouth around it, and she thrusted back and forth. I could feel her tits hitting my abs as she began to massage my balls. I started to cum after 10 seconds of that. The pleasure was too much. She then thrusted her butthole against my softening cock and, oh, it got hard easily. It was so tight, it felt like I was masturbing while she fucked me. Holy fuck. I cummed again, but this time, she didn't stop.
And that was too much. I passed out, her titties on my face, pushing her butt so she could sit on my face.
-"It's my first time," I said, and she started stripping off my shirt, revealing my six-pack. She licked it.
-"Then let's make the most of it," she replied, taking off my grey sweatpants. She then took off my boxers, revealing my six-inch, uncut dick. She gasped, seeing the bulge formed in my pants. I took off her shirt to reveal her huge, bra-less boobs.
We got into reverse cowgirl, and she started bouncing so hard. Her breasts were throbbing onto my face as she pushed harder and harder and moaned, pleasured. Her tits were huge, oh my. I stared at those Hiamalayas and only at them. When I started to feel like I was getting to the edge, I yelled:
-"I'm about to cum!"
She continued to thrust, and I cummed. She stopped, cumming as well.
-"That was so good, Papí,"
We lied down for a bit, and then she went under the covers and took off my condom to suck my cock. She was so good. I felt the grip of her mouth around it, and she thrusted back and forth. I could feel her tits hitting my abs as she began to massage my balls. I started to cum after 10 seconds of that. The pleasure was too much. She then thrusted her butthole against my softening cock and, oh, it got hard easily. It was so tight, it felt like I was masturbing while she fucked me. Holy fuck. I cummed again, but this time, she didn't stop.
And that was too much. I passed out, her titties on my face, pushing her butt so she could sit on my face.
by HERHUGEBOOBS July 2, 2025
Get the sex story mug.When a man is sitting on the toilet shitting and a second man stands at the toilet and urinates in the toilet through the space in the sitting man's legs. This is done to save time, relieve urination urgency, or sexual gratification. Then maneuver can be performed with a woman sitting and shitting on the toilet.
Since our Brownstone walk up only has one bathroom, when Eddie poops in the morning we make a San Francisco Two story to save time.
by Steinerwoodwork July 9, 2025
Get the San Francisco Two Story mug.