Morning Star

Morning Star:

Original definition: a medieval weapon with a long wooden shaft that has a ball full of sharp spikes attached to the end.

Take a minute and Google search this before reading the next definition.

Modern definition: When a GOOD husband/father who works hard for his family and loves them gets fucked so bad after getting divorced it's as if he is getting fucked by a wooden shaft with spikes up his ass . In some states his wife can cheat on him and he still gets fucked. He loses almost everything he owns, pays spousal maintenance, and half of all his money and retirement is gone even though his ex-wife is very capable of having a career and being self-sufficient. She purposely bleeds him dry because she feels unreasonably entitled and plays the victim card but is completely full of fucking shit.

Bob asks his divorced friend John if he would ever get married again. John replies " If I want to get a Morning Star again I would hope to star on an internet porn site so I can make money getting fucked in the ass instead of paying an ex-wife to give me a Morning Star." Bob has no choice but to respond with "well said sir."

Men today do not want to get married because it is 99.9% certain they will get the Morning Star if they get divorced.

by Paulie Walnuts 762 October 21, 2019

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mooning

The price of the stock rising significantly, especially used on r/wallstreetbets.

Autist: Look at SPY, it's mooning.
Another autist: Yeah, some news about the stimulus just came out.

by JonPascal November 17, 2020

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Celebrate Morning Mass

Short for morning masterbation. basically a way of relieving your tension before you go to work, play, etc. Better than liquor or pharmeceuticals, a good orgasm will release endorphins and make you feel ready to face the world. Just be careful, gentlemen, you don't want to have a "hair gel" incident like in the movie "Something About Mary". People can also mistake for Morning Mass for going to services in a church..."I was on my knees and I did call on the Lord's name a few times...."

"Wow, Dude, you look really relaxed today. Aren't you worried about the big presentation?"

"Nah, I make sure I "Celebrate Morning Mass" before I get here"

"You do that a lot.... I admire your devotion to your religion"

by bearbax May 29, 2009

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Monday Morning Hangover

When a girl tells you Sunday that she is leaving you, so you get extremely drunk that night, causing the hangover to fall on Monday morning. At this point, you would wake up, realizing you are now alone, causing a second major blow to your face. This feeling is described as the "Monday Morning Hangover"

I'm not going to make it to work, I have a Monday Morning Hangover.

by blah7890 September 27, 2010

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