old garden hose

a flacid old mans dick

he was limp, like the old garden hose

by brandonjoobies January 14, 2008

my old dutch

my missus, my luvver, my wife.

ge' us another vera 'n phil while you're up standing me old dutch!!

by carpark an' burton July 2, 2005

Salty old dog

Charming yet sleezy.

Hey look at jake over there with all those girls! He's going to get laid tonight the salty old dog.

by Bees harrow March 29, 2015

52 year old

someone who can't stop drinking beers because the can't forget the mistakes they have made in life, causing them to never have any retirement money so they have to work until they die after they get dump by their wife that they have been married to for 30 years.

My dad is a 52 year old

by Wiggly Mr.Dickls the 1st October 8, 2019

big old greaser

A big old greaser is the ultimate being when it comes to unhealthy turds. It usually rates itself between 6 and 7 on the Bristol Stool Scale, and is the product of last night's low quality takeaway kebab. It has the consistency of somewhere between mushy peas and oily fish. It has the smell of any other shit, but its scent has a way of etching itself into your skin and clothes.

Person 1: Oh my god, what's that smell?
Person 2: I think that Bob may have let a big old greaser go in the bathroom?
Person 1: Classic Bob

by YekramC March 5, 2015

Today years old

Phrase used by those who got by in school with C's and refuse to properly refer to how old they are/were.

I was today years old when I found out that the straw holes in Capri Suns are also the dot on the i, why didn't school teach me this????????

by Ani_Mike June 2, 2019

my old lady

Another way of saying my girl or wife

Man my old lady gone kill me when I get home

by Deacon January 16, 2021