Armand Van Der Merew is a category 9 big boi with massive tiddies. If provoked, will call upon the gods of "tsa mina mina eh eh", to chase you down with looming missiles that progress faster and faster until they impact you in the rectum. Once the rectumus missiles have met their fate inside your rectum you will be completely immobilized. He will then grow long muscular legs that allow him to run at you with speeds unimaginable to the average person. While running, he will be engaged in clapping mode, where his cheeks constantly clap in order to disperse the heat and friction coming from his ground thumping legs. By the time that behemoth of an absolute unit is close enough to reach you, he will make one big LEAP into the air, do a summersault, and absolutely crush you with his vibrating buttocks.
Oh man, I sure hope I don't get chased down by that absolute unit this time, sheeesh. One more rectumus missile from Armand Van Der Merew, and I'm as good as a vegetable.
by Jason with a C July 25, 2023
Get the Armand Van Der Merewmug. Still a straight up Overwatch loving nerd, except he no longer plays his PS4 as much and has converted to PC Gaming. 77 Inches may have been a slight exaggeration, though his cyok is a solidly healthy size and his bitches are increasing. Caught him chatting up some "kinky" (Dan's words) gal, which has made me very proud; Well done my brother. Still blonde with blue eyes but so far he has not stabbed me in the back and we maintain a strong relationship. Since last time he has said 1 more swear word (Knob I think?) and his grades are still "Peng". His height has increase to approximately 5'7 or so and he is easily able to knock any fool out with his dojo moves. Wham eyebrows as always...
by saint_jon February 6, 2022
Get the Joe Van Falier 2.0mug. by Shitty Leah November 27, 2019
Get the White,van,daymug. an artist that every art hoe on tumblr thinks that he killed himself by eating yellow paint because he just wanted to be happy. He's a STYLISH BOII.
also an impressionist.
also an impressionist.
by kayyyyyy12234 September 11, 2018
Get the van goghmug. daves van is a van in churchy that sells heavy biffs to underage children also sells pretty nice sweeties x
by davesdaddy March 15, 2022
Get the daves vanmug. 
A really weird and odd guy, usually has a strong odor of moist eggs, usually with awesome parents, he just didn't turn out right. Although an odd character he usually hangs with the coolest people.
by ~Vitalis October 19, 2013
Get the van-beakmug.