Florida Man Colonsseum

Everyone has heard an adult human rectum can stretch to 7 inches without tearing; and that raccoons can fit into holes as small as four inches. The Florida Man, takes advantage of those last few inches of clearance with the addition of an adult brown striped Atlantic octopus. Octopi can fit into anything larger than their beak. So to preform the Florida Man, one must simply trap a dumpster raccoon, catch an adult Atlantic octopus, and then hogtie the raccoon using the Optimus’s tentacles. At that point a fair amount of axle grease should ease the transition into the rectum, potato cannons can also be used for extra Florida points. The two animals will then fight to the death in the recipient’s rectum, without ever tearing the sphincter.

Bets should be placed about which animal will come out the victor.

It is also important not to bitch out and use Atlantic Pygmy octopi as they are venomous.

Weirdest thing I’ve ever seen come into the ER? We once had a guy come in with a dead raccoon and a live octopus up his ass. Everyone with him apparently had bets going about which animal would be dead when we removed them. They called it the Florida Man Colonsseum

by Jdh1002 April 11, 2023

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That's a man

Referencing a biological male that deceptively looks like a biological woman.

Guy 1: "Wow she's gorgeous, I wish she was my wife."
Guy 2: "That's a man."

by fencetape April 13, 2023

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The perfect man

The perfect man does not exist, however a man that will fight along side you and make sure his love for you is known. He will make sure it's evident in not only his words but his actions and he will continue to put effort, commitment and time into you as long as you show him the same respect. He will not agree with something you do or say but stand by u in public and bring it up when it's just the two of you. He will plan days for you to go out weather that be at a cinema, bowling, going for a walk, a night in with snacks or a picnic. In order for a man to be imperfectly perfect he has to always try for his women as long as she is trying and giving him the same back.Its about remembering the small things asswell as the bigger things.A "perfect " man may make mistakes like noot messaging youu for a couple hours because he's gaming but his other actions will make you secure enough within the relationship to know that it's because he's having a time to himself not because you have done anything wrong. They key word I is not perfect, the key word is MAN.

I have the perfect man, he went on holiday and brought me back a shell because he remembered me saying I collected them as a kid.

by Nikkihouldey April 13, 2023

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