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Bass Clarinet

"This bass instrument of the Clarinet family is usually played by people who suck on regular Clarinet and therefore also naturally suck on Bass Clarinet. No one can ever hear them so who cares if they play? Usually mess up the simplest of things such as whole notes especially when they are exposed. Along with the Alto Clarinet it is often used by good clarinet players to get into District, State, and other Various Honor Bands. Some are whiney and complain that they can't march but it dosen't matter becasue they don't know how to play anyways. Rarley a Bari Sax player will have to doubble on Bass Clarinet for Jazz band."
"Hey! The concert was great even though the onlything I could hear from the Bass Clarinets were their Squeakes."
by Teth Bedrows June 3, 2009
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clarinet

A reed woodwind instrument. Probably the most annoying instrument of all time, especially when not played correctly. Just give up, clarinet players and go play trumpet.
At last year's band concert, the clarinets squeaked so bad their solo of "When the Saints Go Marching In" was an unrecognizable chorus of squeaks and extremely low notes.
by Mieself April 8, 2014
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Clarinet bimbo

One who plays a clarinet whilst acting as a bimbo, unfortunately once a clarinet bimbo always a clarinet bimbo.
Edna why are you such a clarinet bimbo
by Wut28 August 2, 2017
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Clarineting

The act of playing your clarinet, is usually implied to those who think a sheet of music has a BPM of 198, but alas has one of only 108
"Which funny story, for a long time I thought the beat was 198, but today I looked further at it, it was just a pencil mark and was actually 108" - E.W. Clarineting
by E.X.N.T. January 22, 2018
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Clarinet

The most gay and annoying instrument out there. People only play it because they are small and cheap.
"Hey, lets go kill a clarinet."
by dumbassmoron December 12, 2019
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Clarinet

The clarinet is the best instrument in the band, and the one with the most parts to put together. The clarinets are usually always the band director's favorite section because they actually LEARN their part and don't talk while the director's talking (unlike the trumpets), and listen to the director, unlike the percussionists.
Band Director: Thank you clarinets for actually learning your parts to the music and practicing, UNLIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. (saying "UNLIKE EVERBODY ELSE" louder so everybody else can hear him.)
Clarinets: *Sitting there, feeling super proud*
The rest of the band: *Feeling guilty for not practicing and learning the music*
by Dance_Softball_Gurl December 27, 2021
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Clarinet

The clarinet is the best instrument in the band, and the one with the most parts to put together. The clarinets are usually always the band director's favorite section because they actually LEARN their parts and DON'T TALK while the director's talking (unlike the trumpets), and LISTEN to the director, unlike the percussionists.
Band Director: Thank you clarinets for actually learning your parts to the music and practicing, UNLIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. I wish you knuckleheads would be more like the clarinets. (saying "UNLIKE EVERYBODY ELSE" louder so everybody else can hear him and kindly teasing the rest of the band by calling them knuckleheads, as that's their little class nickname.)
by Dance_Softball_Gurl December 27, 2021
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