A close relative to the FIGJAM stereotype (“F***, I’m good. Just ask me.”) but this slouch of a human is a recluse, often with potato chip crumbs sprinkled on his pudgy belly. The Armchair Guru won’t choose to dominate conversation by interrupting or speaking over others, instead he will both glorify the profundity of his experiences whilst simultaneously actively discrediting anyone else who he recognizes as a threat to his intellectual cachet in the hierarchical order.
His professed knowledge rests solely on anecdotal evidence with a paltry stockpile of half-finished trinkets that are mounted as a stately exhibit of “Yeah, As you can see it’s pretty impressive but it’s nowhere near as epic as the collection I put together at my last place.”
The Armchair Guru is a toddler with tall tales that are now taken on their word because he has grown a beard.
His professed knowledge rests solely on anecdotal evidence with a paltry stockpile of half-finished trinkets that are mounted as a stately exhibit of “Yeah, As you can see it’s pretty impressive but it’s nowhere near as epic as the collection I put together at my last place.”
The Armchair Guru is a toddler with tall tales that are now taken on their word because he has grown a beard.
I went to Dave’s place to collect the 300 bucks he owes me and this armchair guru reframed the situation into a lecture about how I was acting in my own self interest when I decided to lend him the money. It was made all the more insulting as I could see the bowl of green that he was choofing down was well in excess of what he owed me. So not only did I not get a cent off him, I had to listen to his “Sheeple” this and “Government” that, for like two hours before I realized I was wasting my time by being there.
by FredFredricks January 5, 2025
Get the Armchair Gurumug. a person who only cares about biology when they wish to invalidate trans people … likely never engaged in biology class beyond that cheat sheet they made for their ninth grade final exam.
“These anti-trans bills are the latest wet dream of armchair biologists who love saying, ‘trans women are men’. Yes, we get it - you think we’re hot, and that scares you.”
by MotherStarling March 15, 2023
Get the armchair biologistmug. by Geyserburd November 7, 2023
Get the armchair touristmug. Someone who is fascinated about touching people's feet, but not as a fetish. They usually have beginner-level knowledge on the anatomy of the human foot and can also give great foot massages.
by sad miku November 8, 2023
Get the Armchair podiatristmug. Armchair diagnoses is telling/diagnosing someone they have a mental disorder of some sort. Usually done by an armchair therapist
A: Janice told me I have ADHD because I shake my legs a lot, is that real?
B: That's an armchair diagnose, don't trust her
B: That's an armchair diagnose, don't trust her
by peachyxhua January 28, 2024
Get the armchair diagnosemug. Someone who has 10,000 hours practice flying an armchair at a maximum flight ceiling of 0 feet above the ground, and who feels like they must never be distracted from their glorious mission of defending their front room. See also: lazy git
by Armchair captain 1 June 26, 2024
Get the Armchair pilotmug. Fandom name of the toxic part of a.r.m.y which are BTS fans. They like to drag down other groups down, appropriating other fandoms joke, and they have a big superiority complex. They made a.r.m.y dirty and now theyre the most toxic fandom of kpop. F*ck armchairs !
by kpopencyclopedia December 1, 2020
Get the Armchairsmug.