In an effort to educate and to promote understanding of our faith, I will recount the story of The Eight I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts, the sacred commandments that were given to Mosey the Pirate by the Flying Spaghetti Monster Himself. This is the story that has been handed down for hundreds of years by generations of the Pastafarian faithful:
While brooding atop Mount Salsa because he cannot find a Pirate ship, Mosey the Pirate captain receives some advice from the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the form of ten stone tablets. These were called the I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the "Commandments" by Mosey, and the "Condiments" by his Pirate gang. While there were originally ten I'd Really Rather You didn'ts, two were dropped on the way back down the mountain, with eight remaining. This event "partly accounts for Pastafarians' flimsy moral standards." The Flying Spaghetti Monsters commandments address worship of Him, the treatment of people of other faiths, sexual conduct, and nutrition.
THE EIGHT I'D REALLY RATHER YOU DIDN'TS
1.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like A Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don't Believe In Me, That's Okay. Really, I'm Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn't About Them So Don't Change The Subject.
2.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don't Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.
3.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This Through You Thick Heads: Woman=Person, Man=Person. Samey-Samey. One is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We're Talking About Fashion And I'm Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal And Fuchsia.
4.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off The TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.
5.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B*******.
6.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Build multi million-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/ Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick): A. Ending Poverty B. Curing Diseases C. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable. I Might Be A Complex Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM The Creator.
7.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Go around Telling People I Talk To you. You're Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can't You Take A Hint?
8.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses Alot Of Leather/Lubrication/Las Vegas. If The Other Person Is Into It However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear A CONDOM! Honestly It's A Piece Of Rubber, If I Didn't Want It To Feel Good When You Did It I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.
While brooding atop Mount Salsa because he cannot find a Pirate ship, Mosey the Pirate captain receives some advice from the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the form of ten stone tablets. These were called the I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the "Commandments" by Mosey, and the "Condiments" by his Pirate gang. While there were originally ten I'd Really Rather You didn'ts, two were dropped on the way back down the mountain, with eight remaining. This event "partly accounts for Pastafarians' flimsy moral standards." The Flying Spaghetti Monsters commandments address worship of Him, the treatment of people of other faiths, sexual conduct, and nutrition.
THE EIGHT I'D REALLY RATHER YOU DIDN'TS
1.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like A Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don't Believe In Me, That's Okay. Really, I'm Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn't About Them So Don't Change The Subject.
2.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don't Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.
3.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This Through You Thick Heads: Woman=Person, Man=Person. Samey-Samey. One is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We're Talking About Fashion And I'm Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal And Fuchsia.
4.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off The TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.
5.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B*******.
6.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Build multi million-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/ Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick): A. Ending Poverty B. Curing Diseases C. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable. I Might Be A Complex Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM The Creator.
7.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Go around Telling People I Talk To you. You're Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can't You Take A Hint?
8.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses Alot Of Leather/Lubrication/Las Vegas. If The Other Person Is Into It However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear A CONDOM! Honestly It's A Piece Of Rubber, If I Didn't Want It To Feel Good When You Did It I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.
Christian: I love God and I follow the Bible to the letter... Oh yeah thats right all 10 commandments baby.
Pastafarian: Ummm well I'm not Christian, but I have about 8 id realy rather you didnts that I like to stick with. Though they are less intrusive and less asinine and aren't just meant for adults with the reasoning skills that of kids in preschool, it gets the idea across.
Christian: Well all those strippers and beers are going to send you straight to hell
Pastafarian: Hey now, I'd really rather you didn't say that.
Pastafarian: Ummm well I'm not Christian, but I have about 8 id realy rather you didnts that I like to stick with. Though they are less intrusive and less asinine and aren't just meant for adults with the reasoning skills that of kids in preschool, it gets the idea across.
Christian: Well all those strippers and beers are going to send you straight to hell
Pastafarian: Hey now, I'd really rather you didn't say that.
by Yu Tianzi May 27, 2008
Get the 8 id realy rather you didnts mug.A persons distinct/unique knock that allows them to be identified before being seen or heard.
This allows the person to decide if they want to let the person in or pretend they're not in.
This allows the person to decide if they want to let the person in or pretend they're not in.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK......KNOCK....KNOCK..... KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK "whats that?!?" "Thats Matthew with the tens!" "how do you know?" "Duh! Knocker ID! N.O but you're stupid! "
by B247E June 25, 2010
Get the Knocker ID mug.by BoiDafaqqq April 16, 2017
Get the Bruhji-id mug.When someone sits in the stall next to you to take a dump
and their picture ID that is clipped to their belt hits the floor face
up as they drop their pants, letting you put a name and face on all the wonderful audio you are
about to hear.
and their picture ID that is clipped to their belt hits the floor face
up as they drop their pants, letting you put a name and face on all the wonderful audio you are
about to hear.
You are sitting on the throne at work when Bob Jones sits next to you. How do you know its Bob? His face is looking back at you from the ID card on the floor.
by Mark Nemec August 6, 2004
Get the Staller ID mug.Fake ID basiclly explains itself, it's an ID that is fake.
Usually it's an ID Card that is fake. Usually fake ID's look like real id cards except they have different information. Many times fake ID's are things like driver's licenses with a different age. People might use a fake ID to get into a club, buy a drink, buy tobacco, or to have an ersatz identity. Sometimes fake ID's are for fun to trick ur friends into making u seem important.
Usually it's an ID Card that is fake. Usually fake ID's look like real id cards except they have different information. Many times fake ID's are things like driver's licenses with a different age. People might use a fake ID to get into a club, buy a drink, buy tobacco, or to have an ersatz identity. Sometimes fake ID's are for fun to trick ur friends into making u seem important.
NO SPECIFIC PERSON, JUST RANDOM NAMES
1. Gia went to a guy at her school so she could get a fake ID to get into the Razz Jazz Club.
2. I bought my brother a book of fake ID's as a joke to make him seem important
1. Gia went to a guy at her school so she could get a fake ID to get into the Razz Jazz Club.
2. I bought my brother a book of fake ID's as a joke to make him seem important
by Bboops23 November 7, 2004
Get the Fake ID mug.The number given to your Steam account.
The 1st steam Account was 0:0:1, the second was 0:0:2 and so on.
The lower the STEAM Id the rarer the account is and the longer the person has been playing.
Leagues such as CAL,OGL,CPL and TWL require you to enter your Steam ID so they can verify its really you playing.
The 1st steam Account was 0:0:1, the second was 0:0:2 and so on.
The lower the STEAM Id the rarer the account is and the longer the person has been playing.
Leagues such as CAL,OGL,CPL and TWL require you to enter your Steam ID so they can verify its really you playing.
by WoF | DejaVu October 4, 2008
Get the Steam ID mug.When adding ketchup to a home made burger; therefore, the end result being the grease, bread, and ketchup fusing. Making a pink dough which then takes the shape of your finger prints.
by Swallow & Cradle November 2, 2010
Get the Pink ID mug.