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t shirt wisdom

Liberal use of any saying, pun or other play on words that would, does, or should appear printed on an obnoxious t shirt.
Often spoken or quoted by annoying people who don't even own the shirt.
"The grass on the other side is really astroturf."

"It's all fun an games until someone loses an eye ... then its histerical!"

"Yes, thank you for that t shirt wisdom. Now please leave."
by Rage of Kage May 14, 2008
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The Wisdom Jar

- He is aproximately 3 feet tall and 3 feet wide

- If you were to touch him, he would feel like a frog or other anphibuous creature.

- He lives somewhere in Tibet, up in the mountains. But he does wander a lot and ventures to America sometimes to observe the behaviors of our materialistic society.

- He has suction cups on his feet.

- He never stops smiling. Never.

- He sleeps with his eyes open.

- He knows all. Past, present, and some say he knows the future, but that is because he is so intelligent that it is easy for him to predict the future.

- He can read peoples' minds, by noticing their body movements, smelling odors that humans can not smell that come off our bodies depending what mood we're in, and sensing brain patterns.

- He has extremely acute senses.

- He feeds on burnt action figures, markers, paper, nail polish remover, or any other food he can get ahold of. Being the extremely advanced creature that he is, his body can break down almost any substance into nourishing nutrients.

- Most of his day is spent romping, contemplating, meditating, musing, enjoying nature, deciphering compositions of music, pondering, sitting, and taking drugs.

- He can spend even three days sitting on a rock, pondering something so intentley that he is in a completely trance-like state.

- He has obtained Nirvana. That is probably why he is so happy.

- He does not speak at all. I dont know if he just cant talk or if he doesnt want to. So none of us will ever know his wonderful revalations. Though someone thought they heard him say "shit" after dropping an icecream cone one time.

- Some say he is a reincarnation of Buddha.

- His friends are: Jesus (because he is still out there somewhere), the Dali Lama, hippies, philosiphers, Ghandi's ghost (which haunts a family in Nevada), father oceania, garden gnomes, trees, and Lil Jon.

- He does acid, shrooms, and pot often.

- He loves to play Solitare. I dont know why. But he does it on the computer, on his calculator, and with his friends.

- He loves to play the guitar, the bass flute, and the tambourine.

- No one is sure if he has genitalia or not. But he pees out of the hole in the top of his body, by rolling upside down and letting it run out.

- He has extremely sharp reactions. Many people like to poke him in his eye, since it is so big and pokeable, but he will close his eyelid in a flash, often enclosing the person's finger in it. Then his eye juices slowly start to digest the finger.

- He is a frequent guest of the Conan O'brien show, though he doesnt say anything, had his own daytime talkshow, though he didnt say anything so it got cancelled within a month, appeared on the Maury Povich show once for no reason, and some say you can see him in the background of one of the Lord of the Rings films.

- He holds the answer to the mystery of the universe.

- Some say he has been living forever. He was never born, and will never die, because he was here always. WEEirrddd shit.

- He LOVES slurpees. I mean, he frickin loves them.

- He is sexually attracted to lava lamps, and cardboard, if rubbed against him, gives him extremely intense orgasm-feelings in his teeth.

- He loves to romp in feilds. OH HOW HE LOVES TO ROMP!!!

- He hasn't a care in the world.

- No one has ever been inside of him (he is a jar.) Some say they looked inside, to see extraordinarily beautiful and bright colors, colors that don't exist in this world, and were flooded with extreme happiness. Looking inside of him can be a life-changing experience for a lot, so there are sometimes hoards of people stalking him. Though some have reported seeing an old wrinkly bald man/panda, stripping for dancing tacos inside. I have no idea what that is about.

- Some say that the inside him is the link to another dimension, or an alternate universe.

So that pretty much sums him up.
The other day I spent a day with The Wisdom Jar, and his presence filled me with serenity and peace for many months afterwards.
by tase me August 20, 2006
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Gems of Wisdom

Knowlege passed on from parents to kids when something goes wrong.
Remember the Gems of Wisdom, never walk on the pier with your keys in your hand.(as you spend all afternoon diving for a set of keys.)
by dmorse October 14, 2008
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Dog of Wisdom

The dog that dispenses wisdom out if his mighty wisdom tooth. Likes they song Believe it or not
ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY DOG OF WISDOM AND HIS MIGHTY WISDOM TOOTH!!!
by AIDANNOTAIDAN December 12, 2017
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Stall Wisdom

Anything written on the walls of a public toilet.
Dude 1: They still fail to understand why they are failing to understand.
Dude 2: Whoah, that's deep brah.
Dude 1: Read it on a wall when I was taking a dump.
Dude 2: Stall Wisdom...
by Shaheed Mantis. January 9, 2016
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Butt wisdom

Noun.

Knowledge or wisdom learned afterward, like hind sight is 20:20. It is the important advice that came out the back end.
Man one: don't do it. Trust me it's a bad purchase!
Man two: shut up! You are just talking out of your ass!
Man one: Ma! I'm for real! Dropping some serious butt wisdom right here.

Man two: oh. Fo sho. If you've tried it then I trust you.
by SweetNettaTaTa August 30, 2016
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Idiot Wisdom

Advice which sounds wise on the surface but loses all credibility upon further examination (usually from a lack of real-world applications). It's when idiots try to give advice which sounds wise.
"Don't give up. Anything is possible."
"That's idiot wisdom; if anything were possible, it'd be possible for something to be impossible."
---
"Get rid of all the negative people in your life to be successful."
"That's more idiot wisdom. Doing that creates an echo chamber around you with no knowledge of the rest of the suffering world around you."
by JMC43 December 4, 2017
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