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Cry-Wanker

Cry-Wanker: A man who has befriended a large number of attractive women, yet is simply unable to seduce any of them (which in turn causes him to cry whilst masturbating).

Also know as 'a-shoulder-to-cry-on', Cry-Wankers masquerade as 'nice-guys' in order to obtain a female's trust. As a result, Cry-Wankers are perceived to be non-threatening and are allowed close proximity to their 'friends', enabling them to warn said friends of other, more competent males.

Cry-Wankers are often coy and deceptive individuals, who lack the confidence to approach women in an ordinary manor. Due to this, they begrudgingly build long-standing friendship with women, in the hope that their targets will one day view them in a sexual nature. Thus, the Cry-Wanker able to masturbate normally, with a smile upon his face.
Cry-Wanker: It should have been meeeeeeeeee.
by Scouse-Truth November 14, 2011
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wanker banker

Any one of the million or so neat neck-tie New York or London or San Fran bankers, traders, and/or financial types who troll otherwise hipster, posh bars or clubs claiming to actually be interested in art, culture, and the human condition when hitting on women otherwise way out of their league but for their singular monetary standing.
Usually spawned from ivy league Universities.
Attractive Girl #1: I love that film, can't believe it's been so long since I've seen it.
Attractive Girl #2: It was on IFC last night, I didn't even know I got the channel.
Wanker Banker: As much as I agree, I still think the book was better.
Attractive Girl #2: It's a documentary, ass.
(Wanker Banker shrugs, pretends to see some friends, angles towards the bar)
Attractive Girl #1: Fucking wank-bank.

or

Simone: What're they gonna do?
Marlene: I dunno, go back to her place.
Wanker-banker: My flat's not far from here, has a terrace with a view of the city.
Simon: Good for you.
Wanker Banker: I'm just sayin'-
Marlene: Dear gawd, this is the worst night of my life. We officially look like coke whores. Why else would a wanker banker assume he and his cheese dick button down could summon us to his apartment via cuff links and slacks ?
Simone: What a fucktard.
by Rykirb October 16, 2008
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winkerpack

u/winkerpack refers to an Obese Florida man and Reddit user who gained a cult following from r/wallstreetbets leading to the creation of

r/winkerpack the reddit sub dedicated to making the wrong moves and losing money. The average user is astute in Robinhood options trading, but not much else.
I saw winkerpack with his mobility scooter broken down outside Wendys
by Dr. Mantis Toboggan April 13, 2021
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Wankerism

(i) A marketing slogan which, rather than being created with skill or wit, simply implies that the product will will change your life for the better, - even if its just a packet of sweets
(ii) A marketing slogan which is just *too* cheesy
The following wankerisms were found using a google search on "marketing slogans".

Clothes to make you happy! (Nomads)
Creating more moments of pleasure. (Cadbury Trebor Bassett)
For a wonderful life. (Harvey Nichols)
Happiness is playing Bingo. (Super Bingo)
Happy starts inside. (Minute Maid)
Heaven can't wait. (Nestle Heaven)
Heaven needn't cost the earth. (Sandals)
Heavenly chocolate with a heart. (Divine)
Magic shoes for happy feet. (Starchild)
Make your body happy. (Aquafina Alive)
Make your break, a Delight. (Mars Delight)
One pound. One pan. One happy family. (Betty Crocker)
Pleasure. Every single Pringles Mini. (Pringles, Mini Pringles)
Pleasure. Perfected. (Braun Tassimo)
by xPaul G December 25, 2008
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WankerTanker

When you wank your penis so many times in one day that it turns red. Like the local fire truck.
Dude I had the biggest wankertanker yesterday. I thought it was permanent.
by BigJdogSwizzle June 13, 2017
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Brompton Wanker

City workers with folding bikes (Brompton). The most annoying being the ones that decide to fold/unfold the bike on the train before they get on/of causing carriage congestion.
by CityDude October 30, 2017
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middle lane wanker

A middle lane wanker is someone who thinks it's ok to drive there vehicle in the middle lane all of the time

The middle lane of a motorway is an overtaking lane as is the outside lane once you have overtaken the slower vehicle you should always pull back in also if you are in the middle lane and another motorist is indicating to pull out and the outside lane is empty pull over and use it
Move over you fucking middle lane wanker
by Trade plate 88 July 29, 2017
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