midnight monster

Waking up in the middle of the night relizing you have to take a massive shit.

"dude i had the worst midnight monster last night."

by Drew Pecock November 25, 2007

flying spaghetti monster

The ultimate lord and ruler of the universe, and the deity of the Pastafarian religion. He created the world using His Great Noodley Appendage.

No other monsters can be worshiped before Him (after is fine, just use protection).

The only Monster deserving of capitalization, other monsters are inferior to Him, unworthy of capitalization.

Even Christians have accepted that He has more balls than their god.

His first and most holy disciples were the pirates, who
(contrary to what the old age Christians would tell you) traveled the world and gave children candy.

Unfortunately, the number of pirates are shrinking, causing global warming and other natural disasters to rise.

Some places still have pirates, like Somalia, which has the lowest carbon emissions of any country, coincidence?

He, in His infinite wisdom, created the Eight "I'd really rather you didn't s", the holy tenets of the Pastafarian religion.

For example: "I'd really rather you didn't build multimillion-dollar synagogues / churches / temples / mosques / shrines to His Noodly Goodness when the money could be better spent ending poverty, curing diseases, living in peace, loving with passion and lowering the cost of cable."

When one dies, they will be with Him in heaven, along with a Stripper factory and a Beer Volcano.

R'amen.

On the first day, the Flying Spaghetti Monster separated the water from the heavens; on the second, because He could not tread water for long and had grown tired of flying, He created the land—complemented by a beer volcano. Satisfied, the Flying Spaghetti Monster overindulged in beer from the beer volcano and woke up hungover. Between drunken nights and clumsy afternoons, the Flying Spaghetti Monster produced seas and land (for a second time, accidentally, because he forgot that he created it the day before) along with Heaven and a midget, which he named Man. Man and an equally short woman lived happily in the Olive Garden of Eden for some time until the Flying Spaghetti Monster caused a global flood in a cooking accident.

"If you don't like us, your old religion will most likely take you back."-Bobby Henderson

by adminkiller March 8, 2011

Kookie Monster

n. A peculiar and rare sexual act during which one defecates into the palm of one's hand and proceeds to shake the hand of another party.

"Hey Chris, I'm going to give you a kookie monster"
"...You know how I know you're..."
"Shut up and give me your hand"

by Rachel Ironbutler October 21, 2008

monster bed

A large amount of people sleeping in one bed.

Oh My Dad, when we were rollin' monster bed last nite, I was straight up pig sweating.

by K49 December 14, 2009

Monster Vajayjay

Despite the name's implied vulgarity, it has nothing to do with a woman's reproductive organ. It was actually a children's TV show from Holland starring a hand puppet of the same name. It didn't make it passed two episodes and was cancelled because the name of it was Monster Vajayjay.

In 2005, Dutch film directer Willem Grundje made a children's show called Monster Vajayjay. People have just remembered this show and have been talking about it on forums all across the web.

by Skanago:g December 17, 2016

triangular monster

a name for a lady's private parts

I did a runner from sarah's bedroom last night for fears
of being eaten by her triangular monster!

by Eddie rainford June 19, 2006

balls mcnasty

A general cry of disbelief or annoyance. Can also be said as an agreement with someone else's annoyance.

Derives from a batman comic.

'Did you hear Jimmy Fallon is taking over Late Nite'
'Balls McNasty. I hate Jimmy Fallon.'

or

(reading newspaper) 'Balls McNasty, Jimmy Fallon is taking over from Conan!'.

by Haronzo May 26, 2008