Jesus christ on a bike 

an exclamition of complete surprise, can be used instead OMG or some other thing you say when your surprised

Random: Yes i got an A, fuck yeah!

Random 2: Jesus Christ on a bike i got a D+

Random: Stupid gimp

Jesus christ on a bike by ph1LL September 19, 2010

Jesus Christ shit fuck 

What goes through your mind when you are trying to watch a program and the person with the remote keeps rewinding, pausing,and playing segments back in slow motion

Jesus Christ shit fuck.... I wish Sean's dad would put the remote down... It will be two in the fucking morning before Americas got talent is over

Jesus Christ shit fuck by Super jo jo and friends July 20, 2016

Jesus Christ on Jupiter 

An expression when multiple things go awry at once.

I woke up to a leak under the dishwasher, then the dog barfed all over the new rug and next thing I know it, I have Covid! Jesus Christ on Jupiter!

Jesus Christ on Jupiter by Dr. Goldtooth February 28, 2023

Jesus Christ in a box 

An exclamation you say when someone you depended on totally screws something up or you're faced with something that obviously just f*cked up your plans.

My sister to her husband-

"Jesus Christ in a Box, Michael! I said get the Playtex Supers in cardboard Tampons!... grrr Damnit!..."

Jesus Christ in a box by Kizzle: The Konqueror March 4, 2009

Jesus Christ up the asshole 

Someone so religious that they would take Jesus' dick up the asshole if the bible said so.

Dude your girlfriend would take Jesus Christ up the asshole before you.

Jesus Christ up the asshole by John OHHH YEAH January 25, 2009

jesus christ on rye 

This refers to Jeus being healthy in a comical way.

Jesus Christ on rye, that was a cool crash.

jesus christ on rye by RoundElephant September 26, 2007

Jesus Christ Handles 

Term for the handle above the pasengers head on a car that can be used for hanging coats, but more often grabbed at times when your firend is driving whaaaay to fast.

" I didnt think he would get round that corner, I had to grab the Jesus Christ Handles!"

Jesus Christ Handles by Zippyvr6 April 9, 2009