I guarantee it

George Zimmer's closing statement, especially after the successful use of his monolithic man meat.

Hi, I’m George Zimmer, founder and CEO of the men's wearhouse. While surreptitiously plunging my rosy-cheeked cyclopean ally into the anal cavity of a young migrant farm worker of indeterminate gender in the front row of a movie theater, the poor youth screamed for more than three minutes straight, finally coughing up a load of 100% pure Zimmer sauce and passing out. The other movie patrons, angry at the interruption of the adventures of sharkboy and lavagirl in 3-d, began pelting me with drinks, food, and phone numbers hastily written on napkins. Unfortunately, my outrageously dapper suit was ruined in the process. I nonchalantly pulled the unconscious youth off my enormous eyeball gouger and stripped nude. Then, with a bestial roar, I beat the entire audience to death--without leaving the front row. On my way out, in the custom of the Zimmer family, I gave them a burial at semen. I guarantee it.

by ms. anonymous September 10, 2008

Color Guard

Something that adds color and life into half time shows. I've seen shows without it and it's just not the same. Being part of it is a LOT harder than you would think. I was in it freshman year of high school and it was the hardest thing I did. It's a very rewarding sport and requires some skill. It is often made fun of and thought to be useless. They seem to believe that all we do is twirl our flags, but it is really MUCH more than that. We spin flags, rifles and sabers while marching and keeping smiles on our faces. Not only that, but there is also dance weaved into it. If you make your team, be prepared for multiple injuries, but also one of the best experiences.

During my year of Color guard, I hit my lip twice with my flag and rifle. I hit my funny bone multiple times and hit myself in the stomach trying to toss my flag above my head (the name of the move escapes me). But I came out feeling more responsible and feeling a lot better about myself in general. It really is a one of a kind experience.

by IloveCG May 21, 2011

guardian

a protector of "hightened" entities they can bond to a single charge or become a "keeper" of many
it is there role to watch out for those in there care putting there life on the line
in times of need they can make the impossible, possible
they are like that as gods of the watch tower
they are gifed with powers though they differe from one to the other
if they are a wind swept winged their master is on to them self

few in numbers now they are said to rise once more when they are needed

they are the angels to your gods
they are the demons to you devils
they are like wind and shadow

constant yet unseen

once they form a bond
they are your guardian

all you but need to do is ask

and they will be there

by black wings July 4, 2010

hard for The Guard

Mil. orig. US Coast Guard.
Def.: adj. a Coast Guard Member that loves the Coast Guard so much it is ridiculous. derogatory.

So, Johnson, are you trying to prove how hard for The Guard you are? Stop it!

by theunknowngl October 16, 2004

Couch guarding

To be forced to sleep on the couch.

An old technique used by married couples as a means of punishment.

Me and my wife had a fight,so tonight I'm couch Guarding.

by Robert Michael Hensel April 12, 2008

Color Guard Girl

a young woman who is loyal to her school while keeping the band a colorful and fun place to be they are amazing friends and if ur lucky enough to meet there standards and date them they will start asking u to go to their indoor performances and if u say no they will proceed to yell at you they also have friends tht are sometimes hard to deal with(a.k.a. othe guard members) but if u befriend them and help them they will treat u like ur part of the team so all in all guard girls are the best women in the world

my bestfriend: dude did u see tht color guard girl
me: ya didnt u here im dating her captain
Bestrfriend: really dude it must keep u busy with goin to indoors and carrying flags and all tht
me: no not really

by trombone leader07 December 17, 2012

guarantold

To be guaranteed that what has been said or "told" is true.

Goomba: The prophecy has been "guarentold" that a man named "Big D" will come and spook you when you are least expecting it.

Big D: SPAGOOT!...gotchya

Goomba: THE PROPHECY HAS BEEN GUARANTOLD !

by dan pawlett December 1, 2009