Casturbating

When you break your arm/wrist/or hand that you normally use to masturbate with, and have to use the opposite hand to masturbate, because the cast you have to wear, hurts your dick.

Mike: Dude last night really sucked!!

Joe: How come?

Mike: Ever since I broke my wrist, I've been Casturbating, and it gave me a cramp!!!

Joe: Dayyyummmm

by gbainlaxman January 30, 2010

trick masturbating

When you think you are "trick fucking" someone else, but end up screwing yourself in the end.

First used by the American Eagle Air Line Pilots Association on June 13, 2012.

If you try to set a booby trap for someone and it back-fires on you, you just wasted your time trick masturbating.

by Captain Esquire December 17, 2012

fasterbating

Fasterbating is when fat slobs who usually eat and self-gratify simultaneously go on a diet and just gratify themselves on an empty stomach.
-
Self-Gratyifying oneself to eating disorder porn

Person 1 : Wow, is that that same fat freaky slob that never leaves the house, they're kinda looking, less fat and slobby, though really still freaky
Person 2: Yeah, they've lost a lot of weight since they started Fasterbating
Person 1: Fasterbating?

Person 2: I know, I'm never eating again

-
Person 1: *walks in* -looks at screen #puuuuke#
Person 2: I was fasterbating, what?
Person 1: Nothing, *gasp* nothing at all

by Comrade Plasternasty October 8, 2010

masturbating

Having sex with your own hand or even using a fake dick (dildo) in the case of girls (or very messed up guys)... its very pathetic.

John is masturbating every night because he has no hope of ever having actual sex.

by CanHasHaxx February 5, 2009

ego masturbating

verb, intransitive The act of looking up oneself's first name on urbandictionary in an attempt to produce an ego high by reading the overflow of entries made by other people complementing their boyfriend or girlfriend. Those who exhibit this phenomenon typically have a forever alone relationship status, do not receive complements from family and friends, or, if done in the company of others, are being attention whores.

Olive: Hey look, guys! I looked up my name on urbandictionary, look at all the nice things people have said about me!

Joe: Shut the fuck up, you ego masturbating attention whore.

by didnotstealhisbike July 25, 2011

Masturbating

what you do when you see your Grandpa.

Grandpa: *leaves room*

You: *Starts jerking off and Masturbating*

by The master of masturbating November 16, 2020

Masturbating

what you do when you see your Grandpa.

Grandpa: *leaves room*

You: *Starts jerking off and Masturbating*

by The master of masturbating November 16, 2020