A person pretending to be a certified shorthand reporter/stenographer/court reporter. They have no education, skills, or abilities to type. They are not qualified to even scope a transcript. They push a button to record what is going on in the room. All attorneys and witnesses think this person is qualified because they pretend to be. They are not qualified to do anything. They cannot read back. They cannot produce a transcript. They cannot type. After the legal proceedings, they outsource the audio tape to India or China and have someone whose second or third language is actually English to transcribe it. However, because they are secretly fooling everyone, they charge the price of an educated, accurate, real shorthand reporter. It is very much questionable whether the transcripts produced are legally certified and can be used to impeach witnesses at trial.
Excuse me, Miss Reporter. I didn’t hear that answer. Can you please read that back?
No, Counsel. I cannot read that back. I am an deposition officer. I can push play on the audio. I have secretly been recording. I’m not actually typing any of this. I’m charging you the same price as though I’m typing, but I’m not. I am merely recording it and making sure the recording is clear so I can send it to someone whose first language is not even English to do the rest for me
No, Counsel. I cannot read that back. I am an deposition officer. I can push play on the audio. I have secretly been recording. I’m not actually typing any of this. I’m charging you the same price as though I’m typing, but I’m not. I am merely recording it and making sure the recording is clear so I can send it to someone whose first language is not even English to do the rest for me
by anonymous December 5, 2024
Get the deposition officer mug.“Dumbolition” (noun)
The unintentional act of completely destroying something due to sheer, unfiltered stupidity. A perfect blend of dumb and demolition, this applies to people who somehow manage to break things that weren’t even breakable. If someone can wreck a laptop by closing it too hard, flood a bathroom just by washing their hands, or accidentally set a microwave on fire while heating up a Pop-Tart—congrats, that’s dumbolition in action.
The unintentional act of completely destroying something due to sheer, unfiltered stupidity. A perfect blend of dumb and demolition, this applies to people who somehow manage to break things that weren’t even breakable. If someone can wreck a laptop by closing it too hard, flood a bathroom just by washing their hands, or accidentally set a microwave on fire while heating up a Pop-Tart—congrats, that’s dumbolition in action.
Jake: “Dude, what happened to the squad car?”
Mike: “Rookie tried to fill it up with diesel instead of gas. Engine’s completely shot.”
Jake: “Classic dumbolition”
Mike: “Rookie tried to fill it up with diesel instead of gas. Engine’s completely shot.”
Jake: “Classic dumbolition”
by MinotDUIDrifter January 31, 2025
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by PetitePsychic February 25, 2025
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by Angel234IsTheDarkSeraphim March 20, 2025
Get the Demotion, demoUtion, demotioN mug.Da assorted shaved-off bits dat accumulate on yer worktable and/or da surrounding floor while you're busily using yer rotary tool to carve out yer latest masterpiece.
Handyman beau: Tiffany appreciates my repairing and upgrading of her household items so much dat she is more than happy to clean up all of da Dremelition debris dat's left after each of my cutting/shaping/smoothing projects.
by QuacksO October 15, 2025
Get the Dremelition debris mug.Person 1: She didn't make my cup of tea well enough.
Person 2: So what did you do?
Person 1: Give a bit of circle demotion my friend...
Person 2: Huh?!
Person 1: Demoted her from my friends circle to acquaintances circle on google+ so I can warn my friends without her knowing! Bitch won't be making tea for a while.
Person 2: So what did you do?
Person 1: Give a bit of circle demotion my friend...
Person 2: Huh?!
Person 1: Demoted her from my friends circle to acquaintances circle on google+ so I can warn my friends without her knowing! Bitch won't be making tea for a while.
by Franallamba July 26, 2011
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