MinotDUIDrifter's definitions
“Dumbolition” (noun)
The unintentional act of completely destroying something due to sheer, unfiltered stupidity. A perfect blend of dumb and demolition, this applies to people who somehow manage to break things that weren’t even breakable. If someone can wreck a laptop by closing it too hard, flood a bathroom just by washing their hands, or accidentally set a microwave on fire while heating up a Pop-Tart—congrats, that’s dumbolition in action.
The unintentional act of completely destroying something due to sheer, unfiltered stupidity. A perfect blend of dumb and demolition, this applies to people who somehow manage to break things that weren’t even breakable. If someone can wreck a laptop by closing it too hard, flood a bathroom just by washing their hands, or accidentally set a microwave on fire while heating up a Pop-Tart—congrats, that’s dumbolition in action.
Jake: “Dude, what happened to the squad car?”
Mike: “Rookie tried to fill it up with diesel instead of gas. Engine’s completely shot.”
Jake: “Classic dumbolition”
Mike: “Rookie tried to fill it up with diesel instead of gas. Engine’s completely shot.”
Jake: “Classic dumbolition”
by MinotDUIDrifter January 31, 2025
Get the Dumbolitionmug. The pseudoscientific belief that every catastrophic fuck-up in a man’s life can be traced back to one single, glorious nut he should’ve never busted.
A retroactive coping mechanism where dudes convince themselves that if they’d just rubbed one out before that one pivotal moment…be it a job interview, a wedding proposal, or texting “wyd” at 2 a.m.…the entire timeline would’ve stayed on the rails. The theory claims post nut clarity is so powerful it warps reality like a cum shot to the space time continuum.
A retroactive coping mechanism where dudes convince themselves that if they’d just rubbed one out before that one pivotal moment…be it a job interview, a wedding proposal, or texting “wyd” at 2 a.m.…the entire timeline would’ve stayed on the rails. The theory claims post nut clarity is so powerful it warps reality like a cum shot to the space time continuum.
Example:
“Bro, I proposed to my side chick instead of my girlfriend because I skipped my morning jerk. Classic Nutsakeum Theory…should’ve drained the lizard before popping the question.”
Alternate usage:
“According to Nutsakeum Theory, the Titanic sank because the captain hadn’t busted a fat one since Liverpool. Iceberg? More like blue balls.”
“Bro, I proposed to my side chick instead of my girlfriend because I skipped my morning jerk. Classic Nutsakeum Theory…should’ve drained the lizard before popping the question.”
Alternate usage:
“According to Nutsakeum Theory, the Titanic sank because the captain hadn’t busted a fat one since Liverpool. Iceberg? More like blue balls.”
by MinotDUIDrifter October 30, 2025
Get the Nutsakeum Theorymug. Augee (noun) – A military Augmentee so catastrophically brain-dead that their enlistment alone is proof the recruitment office has no screening process. Augees don’t fill manpower gaps—they create disaster zones where logic, reason, and basic survival instincts go to die. They are the reason safety briefs exist, the reason leadership drinks like their liver owes them money, and the reason some warfighters fantasize about “accidental friendly fire.” If an Augee is assigned to your unit, congrats—you’re now fighting a war on two fronts: one against the enemy and one against natural selection.
Sgt. Miller: “Why is the chaplain here?”
Sgt. Davis: “Augee was cleaning his rifle, looked down the barrel, and pulled the trigger ‘to check if it was clear.’”
Sgt. Miller: “Please tell me he didn’t make it.”
Sgt. Davis: “Nah, he’s fine. The dumbass missed.”
Sgt. Miller: “Of course he did.”
Sgt. Davis: “Augee was cleaning his rifle, looked down the barrel, and pulled the trigger ‘to check if it was clear.’”
Sgt. Miller: “Please tell me he didn’t make it.”
Sgt. Davis: “Nah, he’s fine. The dumbass missed.”
Sgt. Miller: “Of course he did.”
by MinotDUIDrifter January 31, 2025
Get the Augeemug.