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Chuck Norris

The most powerful man in the world save one, the person who defeated him in mortal combat upon the slopes of mount olympus. The Incarnate of Zues, king of the gods, known only as Souther, managed to dodge one of Chuck Norris'
roundhouse kicks, and punched him in the face, defeating him. However even though it was mortal combat, Chuck Norris still lives, and Souther was so impressed with his god-fighting abilities that he retired from fighting, and became a latin teacher.
(There is also some speculation that this "Souther" was Chuck Norris in disguise and moved so fast that it apeared to observers that there were two people.)
Student: "my teacher fought Chuck Norris and won"
Uninformed Student: "No, nobody can beat Chuck Norris"
Student: "no, for real, they trained at the same dojo, and my teacher beat him in a spar"
Uninformed Student: "no way! He'd have to be like Zeus or something"
*Uninformed Student explodes because he is simultaniously hit by a lightening bolt and Chuck Norris, who greatly respects the only man to ever defeat him*
by KadanJoelavich October 25, 2006
mugGet the Chuck Norrismug.

Chuck Norris

hi you look chuck norris today dude
by aqwertyuioplkjhgfdszxcvbnm October 21, 2017
mugGet the Chuck Norrismug.

Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris fun facts 2

Chuck Norris doesn't work his jobs pay him for just applying.

Chuck Norris was once George Bush...but now he's Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the only man capable of masturbating and running a marathon at the same time.

Chuck Norris created the first computer using the bones of his enemies.

Chuck Norris invented the lightbulb.

Chuck norris invented the question mark.

JK rowling was originally going to be a porn star but due to her not being able to handle Chuck Norris she soon became an author inspired by Norris' naked body thus making Harry Potter.

Due to Chuck Norris' awesome roundhosue kicks he wasn't allowed to play in terminator 3 instead he turned himself into a woman just to star in it.

If Chuck was to ever discover this website he would roundhouse kick the earth thus ending humanity.

During the Cold War nuclear missles were actually launched at America Due to a swift Roundhouse kick Chuck Norris redirected them to Japan thus creating Godzilla!

Waldo isn't hiding he's in a coma after saying Chuck Norris three times in the mirror.

Only Chuck Norris can masturbate to Chuck Norris.

French fries were invented since Chuck Norris got tired of potatoe wedges.

After shaving his pubic hairs Chuck Norris then threw them into the furnace thus making the first werewolf.

Chuck Norris REALLY killed Kenny!

When Carlos Mencia made a joke about Chuck Norris he went from white to mexican due to a radioactive roundhouse kick.

When Lynyrd Skynyrd made the song Free Bird he was actually singing about the time Chuck Norris decided not to Roundhosue kick him.

Chuck Norris doesn't get married he just ensures that death will do them apart.

All that remains was formed After Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the rest of the band.

Chuck Norris IS the first airplane.

Chuck Norris wnats YOU to join the army!

Chuck Norris is the reason why Uncle Sam doesn't exist!
If everyone was Chuck Norris the world would no longer exist!
by Eli Vance August 23, 2007
mugGet the Chuck Norrismug.

Chuck Norris

The one man God fears. Said to have once won a game of checkers in 1 move.He can also shoot down a plane with his finger, yelling "Bang"
Person 1: Dude! was that just a UFO??
Person 2: No. It was Chuck Norris.
by joe94 December 16, 2008
mugGet the Chuck Norrismug.

Chuck Norris

Time traveller/Biblical character. His presence is documented in Revelations of the bible.
"And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called faithful and true - Chuck Norris, and in the righteousness he doth judge and make war.
His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on his head were many crowns; and he had a name written, that no man knew but he himself Chuck Norris....
And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron (his penis)... and his awesome beard" Revelations 19.
by Norrislover July 15, 2010
mugGet the Chuck Norrismug.

Chuck Norris

by AnybodyAndNobody October 17, 2008
mugGet the Chuck Norrismug.

Chuck Norris

Random Person: "I bet Chuck Norris could kick yo azz."
Random Person 2: "I agree because I would kneel down and kiss his holy foot as it slams into my unworthy face, after which I would go home and show my family that I am not worthless because I had been touched by the Holy One."
by Unworthy one of the same name November 25, 2010
mugGet the Chuck Norrismug.

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