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Albertsons

A hell hole where even if you make friends the cock-sucking upper managers (namely the first and SECOND in charge) won't let you talk even if your work is done. Plus they complain about you and don't trust you if you're a teen, even if you're one of the better workers! And they wont fire the shitty ones!
And the customers bitch about every little thing! They try to scam you to save even just 5 cents! Fuck coupons too, that shit is lame, why the hell do we take other stores coupons?
Then there's the bottle room! That shit is so gross! It's never clean and there's always stinky bums back there.
Luckily there are some cool people! Like managers that let you go on Chipotle or Jamba runs! Or get you drunk! Checkers that are smokin' hot and funny! Starbucks girls that worked at hooters! And baggers that you can mess around with and have a good time!
"If you don't find something to do I'll find something for you"

"Why can't you take my coupon?!"
"Because it expired in 2005!"
"You guys suck i'm going to Safeway!"
"Have a good day! And I hope you get hit by a bus! bitch!"

"Albertsons would be so much better if I chose who worked there!"

"Albertsons should have a back room with stripper poles!"
by bag boy April 9, 2008
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alberta flying squirrel

When your lover is laying patiently on the bed, you set yourself onto the bed post. Then, you leap off as high as you can while stretching out your scrotum out as far and wide as possible in an effort to glide down onto her face, just like the Alberta Flying Squirrel does when leaping out from the tree branches.
Dianna and I hooked up last night, and I jumped off the top ropes like an Alberta Flying Squirrel.
by WayneDarcy January 19, 2009
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Related Words

Albatrit

Fresh Character. He's a very handsome Guy with a big heart. He takes care of everyone especially his friends and family. He's popular in school.
Albatrit is my best friend.
by Mariel Keller January 4, 2017
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Alberte

Alberte is one of the most beautiful girls you will ever meet.
If you get yourself an alberte don’t ever let her go!

She’s very talented and can dance very well! She probably know all the moves in the “best song ever” music video!
She will have a lot of success when she’s older! And there’s a big chance that she will be a millionaire in the future!

If you have a friend named Alberte, she will no doubt buy you all the things you want!
BUT DONT USE HER! You will regret it!
Because Alberte is also really strong and likes to fight! She’s trustworthy, but only keep her closets friends secrets, and that’s her only downfall!
YOU GOTTA HAVE ALBERTE AS A FRIEND!
“Yo who’s that girl dancing like that?! She’s incredibly beautiful! She must be an Alberte!”

Holy shit, who is she fighting?! That girl must be unlucky!”
by Oneditectionfannn May 15, 2020
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Albertsons

The most prestigious company ever with a hiring bar much higher than FAANG and quant.
Google employee: My TC is 500k!
Jane Street employee: pfft! My TC is 800 .....
*an Albertsons employee walks in
*@Google & @Jane Street immediately kneel down and start sucking @Albertsons' prestigious balls
by marseylover August 9, 2022
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Glendon Alberta

The most tiny hole home to racists and perverts alike. Don’t be afraid there’s a giant cultist like statue of a pierogi that towers like the satanic relic it is. Mostly home to crack heads and your local creeps every now and then. WELCOME HOME
Person1: Oh hey remeber that pierogi?
Person2: yeah do you remember the crack head?
Persons 1&2: well this is Glendon Alberta after all!
by 58392948482 October 9, 2019
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Fat Albert

by God Of Grass February 6, 2020
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