Armchair Solutionizer

A micromanager who thinks they know more about a product than the professionals they’ve hired to develop it, despite the fact the reason they hired the professionals in the first place is due to the fact that they know diddly-fucking-squat about it.
Sorry guys I know I'm solutioning, but I'm a total armchair solutionizer
by Andy loves hookers and coke September 23, 2020
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armchair defeatist

The average "smart" ass who assumes constraints loudly. These people are everywhere and only seem to ever come up with reasons why something won't work, or how it doesn't apply to them, and therefore must not apply to anyone else.
I didn't listen to all the armchair defeatists, instead I made a quick prototype and made $1,200 in my first month.
by batFalcon September 12, 2022
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armchair craftsperson

People who watch a lot of Do it Yourself TV-shows but never even attempt to initiate a project.
John is a total armchair craftsperson, loves DIT shows, but does not even own a hammer.
by Andymex June 30, 2017
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Armchair Logger

Someone who logs a geocache find, without having actually visited the geocache. Quite often getting a fellow geocacher to sign their name in the logbook, while they are elsewhere.
They may have found a lot of geocaches, but everyone knows they are an armchair logger.
by GLOTCH November 08, 2010
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Mahogany Armchair

A Mahogany Armchair is when you're having sex with a woman and she shits in your lap, then proceeds to ride you to a climax.
Person 1: Bro, I had sex with Becky last night and she gave me a Mahogany Armchair.

Person 2: That's so clutch!!
by Astro99 July 16, 2022
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Armchair Guru

A close relative to the FIGJAM stereotype (“F***, I’m good. Just ask me.”) but this slouch of a human is a recluse, often with potato chip crumbs sprinkled on his pudgy belly. The Armchair Guru won’t choose to dominate conversation by interrupting or speaking over others, instead he will both glorify the profundity of his experiences whilst simultaneously actively discrediting anyone else who he recognizes as a threat to his intellectual cachet in the hierarchical order.
His professed knowledge rests solely on anecdotal evidence with a paltry stockpile of half-finished trinkets that are mounted as a stately exhibit of “Yeah, As you can see it’s pretty impressive but it’s nowhere near as epic as the collection I put together at my last place.”
The Armchair Guru is a toddler with tall tales that are now taken on their word because he has grown a beard.
I went to Dave’s place to collect the 300 bucks he owes me and this armchair guru reframed the situation into a lecture about how I was acting in my own self interest when I decided to lend him the money. It was made all the more insulting as I could see the bowl of green that he was choofing down was well in excess of what he owed me. So not only did I not get a cent off him, I had to listen to his “Sheeple” this and “Government” that, for like two hours before I realized I was wasting my time by being there.
by FredFredricks January 06, 2025
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armchair tourist

Someone who goes on holiday with just google street view
Oh, I've never actually been to New York, I'm just an armchair tourist
by Geyserburd November 07, 2023
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