banana Jesus

The act of calling your partner a biblical figure such as Jesus while they knosh on your banana (penis).

"I heard Marcus lost his virginity last night, but I also heard him screaming Jesus, what was that about?"
"Oh, don't worry, he was just getting the banana Jesus".

by Hallistic Vocal Roach March 28, 2022

Jesus Relationship

A relationship that begins around Christmas and New Year (often started with a drunken hookup at a party) and that dies around Easter. A Jesus Relationship is often between two people who are incompatible, and survives for a few months due to the heightened joy around the holiday season, but dies as the year progresses.

Dan: Me and Mary weren't compatible, we were doomed to a Jesus Relationship.
Fin: Was she super religious or something?
Dan: No, it was just destined to die within a few months.

by Savemebarry January 12, 2016

busty jesus

A person so unique, unlikely, or weird that there is no other way to describe them than as a "busty jesus"

The party was mellow until three busty jesuses rolled up on Lime bikes wearing leopard print bathrobes and singing "Row Row Row Your Boat" in a round.

by Turler August 3, 2018

alaskan jesus

Nailing someones balls or breasts to the ice and walk across their back

I gave that bitch an alaskan jesus

by Fuckboi98 May 29, 2016

Jetbridge Jesus

The supernatural power that heals airline passengers of their aliments in flight, and is exemplified by the phenomena of more passengers needing wheelchairs when a flight boards then need them on arrival. Most often seen on flights to/from Florida.

Flight attendant 1: we had 20 passengers in wheelchairs when we boarded my flight in Chicago, but when we got to Miami all but 4 walked off.

Flight Attendant 2: Wow! Another miraculous healing by Jetbridge Jesus!

Flight Attendant 1: Amen and Praise be!

by Kronl January 5, 2023

Jesus Drags

When someone is smoking a ciggarete, and you ask for twos or last drags, they offer you jesus drags. Jesus did not smoke, so they mean they will not save you any.

Roger : Can i have LD's on that rollup?

Dom : I'll save you jesus drags

Roger : Douche

by hateallblacks July 4, 2009

Sex jesus

Some dude that has sex with a lot of women and impregnated all of them then leaves them with the gift of a fatherless child. He also does birthday parties.

“Hey have you heard of the sex jesus?”
“Yea I have that’s my dad.”
“I heard he’s the dad of 1/23 of the planet”

by Havesafesex April 14, 2022