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Four Humors Theory

An ancient and outdated medicine theory that states that a being's health is maintained through a balance of four bodily fluids, and an imbalance of such cause diseases. This theory heavily implies that such fluids regulate personalities, and is the basis of the four temperaments (Choleric, Melancholic, Phlegmatic, Sanguine).

The four bodily fluids are composed of:

- Blood, which causes sociable, extroverted, and comedic personality. See Sanguine
- Phlegm (Pus, Mucus, Saliva, Sweat), which causes reserved and introverted personality. See Phlegmatic
- Black Bile (Spleen, Cancer), which causes sad and depressed personality. See Melancholic
- Yellow Bile (Gallbladder, Vomit, Feces), which causes short-tempered, ambitious, and aggressive personality. See Choleric

Therefore, to combat diseases, one must get rid of excess humor, such as bloodletting. Temperature and humidity of the body such as Hot, Cold, Dry, and Wet are implied to be the balancing of humors. Hence, some might believe that this theory is the earliest attempt to understand Homeostasis, the regulation of biological mechanism. Originating from Ancient Greek thinkers and possibly spread as far into China, this theory persisted well into the 19th Century, in which Germ Theory becomes the foundation of modern medicine and discarded this 2300-years old theory.
Four Humors Theory allows for the erroneous understanding of diseases that plagued Ancient, Medieval, and Early Modern times.

Bloodletting is a dangerous practice that was invented due to Four Humors Theory.

Medieval and Early Modern doctors believed that injecting Mercury into the patient will balance the humors, as per stated by the Four Humors Theory.
by Thaxius August 18, 2022
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The Chocolate Theory

This theory states that the chances of survival of a long distance relationship are directly proportional to the couple's resistance to a midnight craving for chocolate and patience to wait for it till the next day.
I SO wanna have chocolate right NOW! I'd suck at long distance relationships courtesy the chocolate theory.
I think I should end this relationship. Last night's urge for chocolate, chocolate theoried my relationship. (verb)
by iamawesome41 December 23, 2011
mugGet the The Chocolate Theorymug.

Telescope theory

It is when you see a person from a distance, and believe they are attractive, but when they get closer they are fugly.

This could affect both male and female persons from a distance, and in some cases the male/female person could look ugly from a distance, but when closer can possibly be attractive.
Woah she's hot bro!!

Dude dont forget about the 'telescope theory,' wait till she gets closer?

Awwh no way she's ugly!
by jizz u l8a August 25, 2011
mugGet the Telescope theorymug.

Mark Kleval Theory

It’s when you talking to a person a lot or like a person you end up seeing and noticing them or people of their family more and more by random chance, it originated in 1908, When Sr Mark Kleval was wandering the streets of East London when he came across a young lady and had an attraction for her and started talking to her, from that day on every time he stepped into the street for the rest of he’s life he saw a different element of this young lady, either her, her car, one of her parents or one of her close relatives, sadly he only lived for a year after that.
Damb Bro, I’m convinced I see this girl I’m taking to everywhere, it has to be the Mark Kleval Theory.
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ping pong theory

where three guys get naked and one plays as the table and the other two get boners and use their dicks as paddles and play a game of ping pong and the loser becomes the new table. loser after 5 rounds get butt fucked by the other two guys.
dude me, john and aydin did the ping pong theory and now my ass hurts.
by cheif9/11 June 25, 2024
mugGet the ping pong theorymug.

the quantum nigger theory

Quantum nigger theory is a theory in physics based on the concept of the subdivision of radiant energy into finite quanta and applied to numerous processes involving transference or transformation of energy in an atomic or molecular scale.

It is a field of physics that is required to understand phenomena at the molecular and atomic levels.

Quantum nigger theory is simply a new way of looking at the world, where the rules that apply to us don't apply to the tiny particles that quantum nigger theory deals with.

It was a breakthrough that led physicists to discover more about the world of physics and to understand our own world better, starting from the tiny particles of matter that are its building blocks.

One of the first ideas proposed to set quantum nigger mechanics apart from classical physics was Max Planck’s idea that energy, like matter, was discontinuous.
nigger: yo bro do you know about the quantum nigger theory?

other nigger: nah can you tell me

nigger: well you bout to find out (shoots other nigger)

other nigger: AHHHHHHHH

(king von starts playing)

nigger: we not from 63rd
by quaniggerdris June 29, 2025
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Oscar Theory

When you live in New York and have a December birthday, and somehow you are still in the same grade you would be in if you had an early birthday. This has nothing to do with Oscar the Grouch.
Cooper: Hey Christian, do you know my friend Oscar from New York?
Christian: Yeah, when is his birthday again?
Cooper: December 4th, 2006. He is currently a senior in high school.
Christian: That proves the Oscar theory.
Cooper: The what?
Christian: Never mind.
mugGet the Oscar Theorymug.

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