speeding-Jesus

A car passing you while you are speeding. This car will most likely get stopped by the police instead of you. Thus, they sacrifice themselves for your speeding sins.

Thank you speeding-Jesus; I can keep driving fast now, as long as you are in front of me. Speeding-Jesus take wheel.

by heathcat June 15, 2019

Pink Jesus

A term used for Pepto Bismol

Meagan: my stomach hurts.

Jayson: you need Pink Jesus.

by BUTT0N September 18, 2019

smoke Jesus

A joint rolled with a piece of paper from the Bible and the filter is a thicker piece of paper also from the Bible.

Or a joint or two that have the form of a cross.

Don’t just smoke weed smoke JESUS

by Jxhnny_Gxddamn August 6, 2019

Surfer Jesus

The traditional western image of Jesus which depicts Him as a white dude with long hair and a gnarly beard. Totally looks like the surf bum at your local beach. Or homeless.

The King of Men hangs 10

Surfer Jesus doesn't just walk on water, he rides the waves

by homieijustfuckedyomomma May 17, 2018

Jesus enthusiast

A lover of Jesus Christ. Someone who is very excited and happy about the topics of Jesus.

John is the biggest Jesus enthusiast that I have ever met!

by angiewangie October 31, 2017

the jesus jog

An alternative name for a festive jog in December if you really want to piss off some atheists or others who don't believe in Jesus.

Kid: Should we name our race the Hanukkah Hustle?

Teacher: No that would be like calling it The Jesus Jog.

by GrainTrain November 26, 2017

alaskan jesus

Nailing someones balls or breasts to the ice and walk across their back

I gave that bitch an alaskan jesus

by Fuckboi98 May 29, 2016