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Jesus tv

Television program dedicated to teaching the "word of god". Televangelism
I'm watching this great preacher on the Jesus tv channel.
by Decimator June 28, 2011
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Jesus Whompper

Kids with blue eyes and blonde hair, who's parents may have the same trait, and come from the south and brag about how awesome jesus is, even though deep down their awful people.
That new kid from georia is such a Jesus Whompper. He said Jesus loves everyone just before he laughed at the mentally challenged kids.
by carlitohasballs April 7, 2009
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Jesus in a wheelchair?

When about to hell JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!! out of rage but realizing you are surrounded by Bible beaters, and quickly changing it to something else as not to be forced to listen to eighty bible verses to compensate for you sins.
Gay 1 (During intense super smash brothers ultimate for nintendo switch match) "JESUS IN A WHEELCHAIR?!?!?'d be funny right?"

Gay 2 "I guess it'd be funny?"
by Archduke of Douchebags May 16, 2019
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jesus wobbin

The art of speakers visbaly moving back and forth whilst a low frequency is playing through them. Typically in a studio environment.
Damn they're Jesus wobbin right now. Turn it down!
by Alphx February 28, 2019
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Jesus-fix

To fix a problem that has been stumping someone else in an incredibly simplistic way on your first try, often by hitting or touching the object in question. The method used to fix the device may have already been tried multiple times, but just didn't work until you came along. This is reminiscent of how Jesus Christ supposedly healed the sick just by touching them.
My car horn was broken for months, but Tanner Jesus-fixed it on the first time he pushed it.

My friend's phone wasn't working for hours yesterday, but I came in and Jesus-fixed it when I turned it off and on even though she had already tried that five times.
by DaskinRobins October 7, 2011
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Jesus Drags

When someone is smoking a ciggarete, and you ask for twos or last drags, they offer you jesus drags. Jesus did not smoke, so they mean they will not save you any.
Roger : Can i have LD's on that rollup?

Dom : I'll save you jesus drags

Roger : Douche
by hateallblacks July 4, 2009
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Jesus hanger

She had blingy jesus hangers all over her butt.
by fuzzybuzzz February 11, 2013
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