Mach Jesus

Someone Travelling so fast, that colliding with one small object will be fatal.

Tom Cruise was going Mach Jesus to avoid being late for the shoot.

by AlphaJPM September 15, 2022

the jesus jog

An alternative name for a festive jog in December if you really want to piss off some atheists or others who don't believe in Jesus.

Kid: Should we name our race the Hanukkah Hustle?

Teacher: No that would be like calling it The Jesus Jog.

by GrainTrain November 26, 2017

jesus gomez

A very short person who never brushes there hair and has a serious anger problem and thinks me big brain

Jesus Gomez is dumb

by Big brain man February 17, 2022

Jetbridge Jesus

The supernatural power that heals airline passengers of their aliments in flight, and is exemplified by the phenomena of more passengers needing wheelchairs when a flight boards then need them on arrival. Most often seen on flights to/from Florida.

Flight attendant 1: we had 20 passengers in wheelchairs when we boarded my flight in Chicago, but when we got to Miami all but 4 walked off.

Flight Attendant 2: Wow! Another miraculous healing by Jetbridge Jesus!

Flight Attendant 1: Amen and Praise be!

by Kronl January 5, 2023

zoidberg Jesus

the one true messiah. the great dr zoidberg Jesus

whoop whoop whoop whoop said zoidberg Jesus

by the-great-jet December 1, 2021

jesus wobbin

The art of speakers visbaly moving back and forth whilst a low frequency is playing through them. Typically in a studio environment.

Damn they're Jesus wobbin right now. Turn it down!

by Alphx February 28, 2019

Jesus-fix

To fix a problem that has been stumping someone else in an incredibly simplistic way on your first try, often by hitting or touching the object in question. The method used to fix the device may have already been tried multiple times, but just didn't work until you came along. This is reminiscent of how Jesus Christ supposedly healed the sick just by touching them.

My car horn was broken for months, but Tanner Jesus-fixed it on the first time he pushed it.

My friend's phone wasn't working for hours yesterday, but I came in and Jesus-fixed it when I turned it off and on even though she had already tried that five times.

by DaskinRobins October 7, 2011