Wank Rash

Red patches that appear on ones chest after a vigorous wank. Occurs to excessive wankers.

Jack: “Lads, I was beating my meat last night, looked down, should’ve seen THE STATE of my wank rash!”
Ben: “I get that all the time, I love tugging myself!”

by skinnotheskank May 20, 2022

professional wank

Having a wank over someone’s LinkedIn profile.

LinkedIn recruiter: Hi! I came across your profile and thought you’d be great for this role.

Me: Please don’t have a professional wank over me

by antlizard March 1, 2021

wank coma

The act of masturbating and falling asleep shortly after wards as a result of exhaustion

It was 2am and after pumping out a fat one, I was in a wank coma.

by Bigfatdoggo October 11, 2017

wanking the gank

The act of stimulating the penis with your hand to achieve ejaculation; Male masturbation.

Commonly performed while viewing the pornography of MILFs.

Me: Hey man you see that new Lisa Ann vid on the Hub?
Friend: Hell ya bro I’m wanking the gank to it as we speak!

by The Don 1846 August 31, 2021

Salary Wank

To masturbate whilst at work.

"Has anyone seen Charlie?"
"Yea...he's ducked off for a Salary Wank"

by Guido Lasalsa July 3, 2022

Popcorn wank

When you're in the cinema and you put your dick in the bottom of the popcorn box, and have a wank as if to look like you're rummaging through the popcorn.

"What's all that noise, I can't hear the film?!"
"I don't know, must be someone having a popcorn wank!"

by Bambamg123 December 16, 2016

Champagne wank

When masturbating and as you are about to finish, you put two hands on and shake like champagne.

Friend: Congrats on your award man
Me: Thanks, I’m going to go celebrate with a champagne wank.

Friend: *laughing* well that’s one way to celebrate.

by JB dick-tionary May 4, 2020