Captain

(n.) the sexual act of pouring Captain Morgan into a woman's vaginal crevice, and then proceeding to drink it with a straw

(v.) to commit the act of Captaining

MAY CAUSE STERILIZATION

I Captained your mom last night you assclown.

by Taniqua November 4, 2006

cheerleading captain

Basicly the bitch of the cheerleading operation. They are usually spotted wearing the school colors, ribbons in their hair, and a simple jacket. To them everyday is cheerleading day, and it's not just a hobby it's a way of life. Cheerleading captains can either be smart academic wise or just a plain dumb slut. The area you reside in determines how trashy, slutty, smart, or determined these girls are. They rule with an iron fist during pratices in gym, and if you don't follow their lead they were surely make your life a living hell by either spreading false rumors about you ("OMG Becky is such a slut. She gave it hard to Mitch on the football team.") or ignoring your ass to the point of insanity.

Come on now cheerleading captains, be reasonable. What can you do with your life if all you do is cheerlead and talk shit?

by Tory the Deadsy Fan April 12, 2007

captain crabsticks

a person who for reasons only known to himself can live for 17 years on crabsticks alone. he realy likes them

jordan stop eating those crapsticks or you'll turn into captain crabsticks

by the one and only kyle January 18, 2005

Captain Planet High

Level of highness where, when smoking a marijuana joint with 3 or more different kinds of weed, their powers combine to equal something more than the sum of their parts alone; Like Captain Planet.

"Man, I got so baked when I smoked that joint. We used 3 kinds of weed which were only so powerful individually, but with their powers combined, we became, Captain Planet High!!!!"

by Muddy Run November 8, 2008

Captain Jack

'Captain Jack' is the name given to a lad that 'harpoons' the 'Kracken' courageously and lives to tell the tale.

While they don't tend to remember the details in their toxicated state, others thoughtfully remind 'Captain Jack' of his adventures.

Usually quite often, in a banterous manner, dependent on the ferocity and ugliness/fatness of the Kracken. Being called Jack is also a factor.

Can be found at the same party as a 'chundersaurus rex'.

- 'Captain Jack! How're you feeling?'
- 'Whaaat?'
- 'Captain Jack? Y'know, you seriously harpooned the Kracken last night. So brave.'
- 'What are you on? I'm still hanging mate.'
- 'Ha, YOU BONED A FUGLY SLUT'
- 'Fuck.' (or other suitable expletive)

by 925ale December 3, 2011

Captain Insano

An individual who may or may not be at fault for their habitual stupidity due to their bi-polar nature and lack of general common sense.

- See also: asshat

As an ostrich puts its head in the sand when threatened, Captain Insano relies on a protective cranial-rectal inversion to ward off intelligence and common sense.

by Anon E Moose December 4, 2003

Captain Kirk

Masturbate.

Rhyming slang: jerk (off)

Seven of Nine, T'Pol, Uhura, Jadzia Dax and Councellor Troi all make me want to sneak off to the holodeck and have a quick Captain kirk.

by Masked Avenger Dude June 20, 2010