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The Penis Monkey

The Penis Monkey is a form of masturbation where you get naked and climb a tree, then tie a string to a branch. Then, you tie the other end to your dick and jump off the tree while making Tarzan noises and swinging back and fourth like a monkey.
Oh my god, did you see Richard outside this morning? He did the Penis Monkey in his front yard and was placed under arrest for public nudity!
by Can you burn a Luigi board August 16, 2019
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cringe monkey

Slapping an un-erect penis repeatedly either side of a sleeping partners face, so they wake rubbing their eyes like the 'cringe monkey' emoji
I couldn't sleep, so I gave her a cringe monkey to wake her up for a blowy
by IorekSholto February 11, 2017
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Batch Monkey

(n.) Commonly used to describe disgruntiled business owners that are unaware of the procedures needed to be taken in order to get paid from a credit card terminal, software, or POS device...

Most people who are "Batch Monky's" tend to believe that if they pay a monthly fee to run credit cards, it's everyones else responsibility to make certain they get money in THEIR pockets.
-- "You guys have no idea how to do your job, I haven't gotten a deposit in 3 weeks!! WTF is wrong with you assholes. I WANT MY MONEY NOW!! I pay you guys every month, WHERE'S MY MONEY?!"

--"Well, sir/ma'am it's standard credit card processing procedure that you close your batch every evening after business, you're missing $34,596.94 as a deposit?! Simply close your batch!"

--"No one told me that I had to do that! Okay, I'll press the CLOSE BATCH button next time, THANKS... Goodbye"

--"Thank you for calling anyway...(click) you Batch Monkey Ass MothaFucka, do MY job. Heh!"
by ALKAIZER June 25, 2009
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Ebola Monkey

Fred did not show up to work because he partied all last night. Now we have to take on that slackers work load. What an Ebola Monkey.
by slacker7f39 July 26, 2009
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wireframe monkey

A wannabe user experience designer without any design inspiration or interest. Will work for anyone, Will draw anything
Yo! did you see the new UX hire?
Who? That wireframe monkey?
by savageUX February 7, 2018
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Spank Monkey

A frenzied practitioner of consensual BDSM involving repetitive blows ("spanks") rained down upon the voluntarily uplifted bottom. By extension, someone who can't stop talking about this hobby.
Suzeemoon much enjoyed being disciplined by her Cariad using well-judged slaps upon her gluteus maxima - in fact, she was an incorrigible Spank Monkey.
by NickCosmoSonde October 5, 2008
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dub monkey

A person that will propagate the idea that idea that dubbed anime is better than subbed anime no matter the quality of the said dub.
"they are such a dub monkey, they can hear Naruto saying "believe it" without coughing up blood"
by calboom March 8, 2019
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