During coitus, one partner (or a third person) inserts their full hand into the anus of the woman and grasps the man's penis through the walls of the rectum and vagina. They then proceed to masturbate the penis while simultaneously fisting the woman rectally.
by Inoffensive_Account August 20, 2016
Get the muppet wankmug. To engage in dickish behavior. Used in the same spirit as "to fuck about", "fuck around", or "screw around".
We would have gotten here much faster if so many other drivers weren't wanking about the whole time.
by Not Dangerous Dickey November 19, 2015
Get the wanking aboutmug. To squat down on your toes, reaching under the leg to masturbate in a downward motion.
Common sport amongst contractors working away from home. Of an evening, should they be feeling frisky and risky, they may strip off, carefully climb up on to the B&B’s sink rim, tiptoes on the unsupported edge. Whilst in this expert position he may decide to crab-wank one out whist his face/eye is pressed against the mirror, eyeballing himself until completion.
Common sport amongst contractors working away from home. Of an evening, should they be feeling frisky and risky, they may strip off, carefully climb up on to the B&B’s sink rim, tiptoes on the unsupported edge. Whilst in this expert position he may decide to crab-wank one out whist his face/eye is pressed against the mirror, eyeballing himself until completion.
Martin: How was your evening Andy?
Andy: Pretty tragic really.
Martin: But I thought you had your night planned? Kebab and a crab-wank you said??
Andy: The kebab was great and I was after a thrill before bed.
Martin: What’s tragic about that? Did you manage the expert?
Andy: Almost, but the sink came off the wall and I couldn’t finish.
Martin: Still, better than Steve last year, his sink shattered and cut his femoral artery.
Andy: Hummnn, I may go back to the floor for a bit…
Andy: Pretty tragic really.
Martin: But I thought you had your night planned? Kebab and a crab-wank you said??
Andy: The kebab was great and I was after a thrill before bed.
Martin: What’s tragic about that? Did you manage the expert?
Andy: Almost, but the sink came off the wall and I couldn’t finish.
Martin: Still, better than Steve last year, his sink shattered and cut his femoral artery.
Andy: Hummnn, I may go back to the floor for a bit…
by Goatboy Grasshead June 8, 2021
Get the Crab-Wankmug. Having a wank in your bedroom and calling out for someone when your near cumming. Games on, finish up before they enter your room.
"My grandma almost caught me having a courage wank the other day man"
"No way dude that's risky shit"
"No way dude that's risky shit"
by jimtim February 19, 2014
Get the courage wankmug. Cracking one out over an image which serves as a proxy for an intended (but unattainable) object of desire.
See also 'substitute shuftie' and 'simulacral shuffle'.
See also 'substitute shuftie' and 'simulacral shuffle'.
Baron Von Trapp couldn't make use of the new governess upon her arrival and so popped to the local church confessional booth with an image of the Virgin Mary for an allegorical wank.
by Theilliterate June 28, 2023
Get the Allegorical Wankmug. Wanks of Penkridge
When something is so rubbish and underwhelming that you instantly presume it came from Penkridge
When something is so rubbish and underwhelming that you instantly presume it came from Penkridge
That tofu wanks of Penkridge
These pills wank of Penkridge
I better get some sleep before my date. I don't want to wank of Penkridge
These pills wank of Penkridge
I better get some sleep before my date. I don't want to wank of Penkridge
by OoohLookAtMeGrowler February 19, 2019
Get the Wanks of Penkridgemug. A person or group of highly technical metal musicians who wank over the speed and technicality of their music but nobody else cares. Typically those djent musicians who post videos of them playing highly technical guitar pieces from their moms basement.
"Here's my new guitar play-through guys, look how big my dick is! please excuse my sloppyness hehe"
"Oh another wank metal video "
"Oh another wank metal video "
by wank metal April 17, 2019
Get the Wank metalmug.